Theres a cup of extreme caffine cappacino coursing through my veins. I drink coffee at night when i get off work. Usually only on my fridays, my weekends. I got 101 hours on my last paycheck. Thats 21 hours overtime. The DMV 1,000.00 fine is paid off. My 85 chevy has a new windshield, brakes and license plates. I responded to Green v. Downs two days ago. Im not fuckin around. Not a single cigarrette or beer has passed these lips.
I have a smart phone with all these APPs and constantly listen to music, even as i sleep. My nephews jump and holler my name each time they see me. For christmas i put new brakes on my moms car. Im looking to buy a house.
This is impossible, im not meant to make it. The courts actually waited six months to respond to my lawsuits, in hopes id spin out and die or end up incommunicado in some cell somewhere. I responded to this last motion the very next day, after i got off work at midnight to 4 a.m., i hand wrote and hand copied six pages.
I learned that after i paroled the Disability Law Center filed suit on Uinta One and the Utah State Prison for them using military death gas grenades on solitary, mentally-ill captives. All those i knew in those dungeons still sit tortured, 24 hours locked down. Across the country gay marriage and marijuana legalization has taken hold while the prison system is put to the wayside and forgotten about. These high school kids, whom i work with at my job, part-time workers in their late teens, look at me in disbelief when i say i spent the last ten years in a cell. But the scary thing is their lack of knowledge about amerikkas injustice system.
I told my nephew that amerikkan soldiers are the terrorists. That the only reason we are in the middle east is because corporations want their investments protected. I tell women all the time that no, i do not seek a relationship with you because i dont believe in oppressing you. It saddens them. My nephew wants to be a soldier anyway. Cool weapons, he says. Why are you so cold, she says.
Training i still do every week. Squats and pushups one week. Curls and shrugs the next. No poetry. some part of me is at a loss to develop the three poems a week i used to do. I imagine it is the music i listen to that takes the place of my inner dialogue that used to churn out rhymes.
It is an anniversary of sorts, this day, this moment.
Completion of everything i said i would do as i sat in that solitary cell looking out that crack they call a window, breathing that smelly, peppersprayed H20 they call air. It could all go to pot at a moments notice. I am super vigilant about whom i affiliate with. Im surprised the pigs havent tripped me up. Each time i hear keys rattle or see a cop car i get a jolt of adrenaline. I believe this will be with me for life.
So im going to set new goals this night, like a passport and pictures beneath the Eiffel Tower. Laying beneath a field of tulips in Holland and running from a red kangaroo in Australlia. Visiting MT. Kilamajaro and swimming in the Yellow River of China. But more importantly watching laws enacted state by state that reform the oppressive prison system. Witnessing the crumbling of the new Great Britain that has become Amerikka and the beginning of a new age...
But im afraid these laws wont occur, that its going to have to grow, maybe double in size and calamity before any Highschoolers notice, before marriage and recreational use of substances can be overshadowed with the main, true issue afflicting this country, the world. I.E. Solitary Confinement and the Death Penalty used as a tool to silence those who choose not to remain quiet. Dissenters forgotten and villified with "criminal" stigmas. Made less than human in the eyes of the world. So those in control, the bourgeois military complex and oil corporations twiddling the strings of each and every politician and president; The banks and genetically modified poison food buisnesses who control what goes in our mouths and pockets... Can control. Can Kill slowly with APR, warmongering, miles per gallon, flouride, and flouresant oranges.
There is this game that a Highschooler showed me that you can download onto your smart phone. It consists of an unseen energy that emits from historical sites all across the world. The Enlightened and The Resistance seek to control this energy. One to use its power to change Humankind, the other to contain this energy and keep it from affecting our species. for fear of what could happen.
GPS is used to pinpoint your precise location and nearness to portals. You are supposed to go and set up force fields at certain locations and protect them from the other side. People travel across states to each town to set up these cordons and return home and control them.
When i saw this kids eyes light up at the actions hed taken to uphold these imaginary beliefs in an imaginary war, imaginary worlds created by the oppressor, like Facebook and PS2 war video games, i felt extreme concern and sadness for the species, for our future. He doesnt realize this game is real and the portals are Prison Gates and Police Acadamies. That the enlightened are in chains or in hiding or buried in pine boxes in forgotten graves, veins filled with Sodium Penathol, hearts with 30.30 holes from Firing Squads.
The resistance controls the television and minds of the world. Republican Or Democrat, millionaire both. Our food, our air, resistance tainted. Our lives planned before we are even born, to live and die a slave to timeclocks, bills and stale dreams of Freedom and Happiness.
Our hutches filled with Flatscreens, our pockets emmitting squeeks, clips of country songs as ring tones and radiation. Chewing on our glowing carrotts, growing cancers inside that will leave our grandchildren paying medical bills. We put up our seasonal decorations that signify the best this society has to offer. To consume to the tune of our doom. Dumbed down, lop-eared, idiot rabbits waiting for the baseball bat to the back of the head. We sit, huge eyed, staring at the bars of our cages, wondering...
Whens the Savior going to return, which plants can we legally burn and can Jim and Joe be sealed in the church, sharing tax returns.
Death row captives eyes reflecting the flames of the Amerikkan dream as their breathing stops in front of packed bleachers of witnesses. The slow, painful heartbeats of all solitary captives sweeping floors for the fifth time this day, so many psychotropics coursing through their veins that they wish the pig, who murdered his neighbor the day before, good morning, as he serves him his 4500-th bologni sandwich.
Champagne toasts to state murder are testament to the deterioration of this society. Suicides in the military and the minds broken from solitary confinement. But some of us squeeze through the bars, broken bones and all, and manage to avoid the weasels. Wearing the fur of the enemy one can blend in...
To all those sleeping beneath the hallogens this night, on fifteen minute suicide checks, starved, atrophied, hopeless. Taped shut, stapled alive.
You are smarter than the oppressor and stronger. Keep that in mind.
Fearless Intelligent Articulate Enlightened Rise Up!
We will win!
And until then we will smile slyly at you beneath your skin...