*Pretend* 07/31/2015

Temporary insanity pleaded
As you lie kneeding
Illusions of granduer
Of the utmost and lowest

Its happened many times before
This fucking hostage situation
This drainage of your being
Because of total focus on another

What do you do when your whole life
Feels orchestrated from the get
Like the paths you walk and decisions you make
Decided upon. Traps set. Some mathamatic kismet

Fucking shit
Sitting here after so much
My fucking struggle with everything
Plain as day its got me shook up

The givings up
The gotta gets
The need to this
The have to that

Fuck you
And everything

The overdraft credit cards
The gas tanks constant thirst
Bills and ultimatums

Urges urged upon
The dirt we tread forgotten
For the minutes of pop songs
Scratched on ears

I've been here before
Just yesterday we played this
Hiding and seeking meaning

I'll do this again
With the wind as my foe
And the sun as my friend

Peeking blinds
Bleeding inside
The only difference I'm sober this time

Dulled
By mountains surmounted

Darkened by the hopelessness surrounding
The eye smiles I've passed on countlessly
Infected by your sadness

Felled by your sickness of fear
In the coward populace
Of the mainstreams

Prying eyes