*When*

*When* 10/17/2015

When the power goes out
And everyone's left looking
I will already have seen and left

When your everything's gone in a blink
Mines just beginning
Eyes opening while yours are closing
Life fertilized on your losing

Get up because you're laying down
Soon
Arranging necessities not for forever
But for soon
You can't continue in this vein eternally
Dalliance with the inevitable
Cringe or applaud upcoming boom

Simplified beyond the just simple
So centered lightning flash doesn't surprise me
Tragedy just the next step along your way

Down with all the failed evolutions
Treading lightly over your misconstrued conclusions

Invalid misconceptions
You're winning while I'm losing
At least it seems so
In your eyes

The eyes of surprise
Deer in the headlights of the last light
Your dying light
Warming the hands of those left

Your replacements
Betterments
Wearing your leavings like stains of grass
Building the future because your past is past

* Marble Countertops * 09/28/2015
Two years two months two weeks two days
To teach me to think totally opposite
This body and mind in decay isnt the same
The whole pathway i walked in vainly insane
Went from waiting on a parole board
To waiting for social security
The most avid exerciser
To just catching my breath walking
The defeat in me isnt Name-Brand
Its the generic Age-Old inability
To coexist around others
To love without smothering
Just that after witnessing all the deaths
And wondering if they worked up until the moment
Does anyone ever get a month to reflect before going
Does the Rat-Race become your life
And if you stopped working
Would you stop living
Youve seen me and what ive completed
As a person dealt a shitty hand
So why do you mourn my Step-Back
My momentary hands on knee reflection
Havent I earned it
When others would sit passed out from psychotropics at night
While everyones passed out drunk in the darkness
My mind sits pondering meanings and connections
And its always amazing to see the peoples reflections
Reflecting themselves upon the judgements
Instead of looking inside at why they judge
Building the things others started instead
Of planning and creating yourself
Focusing on the focus placed upon
Instead of sharpening your own focus
Sharing 'In-Common-Nothings' instead
Of creating 'Somethings-Alone' to share
You can become caught up in the roads
Forgetting each paths meaning is destinations
Would never throw away this pristine consciousness
Built inside Supermax buildings hallogened
Over beer, drugs, thinking Herd-Intilect
When one learns thats the whole point of this
To just exist painless
Too many caught up with kids
And the total focus and raising of this
To be just the most facetous mother
Of the most flaky, purposeless kids
That hang themselves
From your Empty-Room-Minds given them
Question Mark Gallows
Your Cross-Border like the Rabbit Hole
You escape periodically bourgeoisily switching
Personas and clothes to Infatuate
Enemyize your friends soley for the push
To your next tragedy left
She's worse than him but you would never guess
Because she hides behind productivity like her breath
Same sized livers, hearts and gross amount of tears
Just that one gives a shit about society
And the likes and comments
Of cardboard cutout calcified peers
Companied each morning smelling of soaps
Six a.m. sharp with teeth gleaming
In order to enhance the $35 millions
Driving home on an empty tank of gas
Sore muscles can't even afford the bananas
Fucked her pussy so long cant pretend
Both rolling eyes when the pants come off
Like oh fuck not this again
Fuckin tire blows, out window half your paycheck goes
Have to buy my water from the city
Suck the dick of the power company
Just for lighting
Meaning lost in all of this
Infighting of the incrowds
Status and marble countertops
Holding more notice than the chiseled dates
Of the dead that did without
All you do all day
Like any of you have meaning
Or any of this roboticism
Can unmagnetize your bloods direction
Of six feet in the grave

*Umbilical Gun* 09/22/2015

The pinnacle of delusion
Looking down
Had it with it because for a while
Had it all
From nothing to something
To nothing
To thinking about jumping

Bouncing back and forth between emotion
Wishing for the body slam
Dirted disappeared hurting
Listen to the townfolk thinktank
About his problem
Soon favor extended in solving

You should never peel back calous
And then run
You should never whiten teeth
With lemon
Outlive teeth over brushed
Or dedicate yourself to a perfect woman
Cause she'll consume you
Let go of heartbeat with lost lust

Letting go of a chemical high
The love of a woman
A species I'd not seen ten years
Was all mine for eight months
Same age yet ten younger
Because mentally caged as a boy
But her blasé blasts my soul like shotgun
Leaves me a bloody mess
Spongeing myself with my carelessness

Each sopping up and dirt slapped nerve ending
I give up every second
Each and every minute a casket
Hours like cremation
Days like the roots into brain
Lying dust under her tree of everything

I watered her with my soul unknowingly
One should hold back a piece
Just in case lying empty outstretched
Hands beseeching from casket easy chair

When you just become the old oil painting
Hanging from the wall in faded rose
And passing processions silently tick by
Wondering how he did it so long
Alone entombed only to give up consumed
By the most beautiful thing

Bore by a vagina and broken by one
Suckled the teats of life
And breastfed from my grinning reaper
As the little laugh she left me with resounds
In my thin skull like my first cry

The blood drips smack earth
Desperate eyes looking up at doctors finger noose
My nervous system one last time reaching for her
Nothing
Silence
With my last breath wishing
Heart attack upon her breast

Or the doctor would of just dropped me
Before i felt the coldness
And loved her eyes so much