*Lead Tall* 10/29/2015
Subterfugal Emoticons Tattooed Across Make Believe Members
Us sitting like our asscheeks imprints make a difference
Like anything we leave behind that isn't money
Cars, Houses will be grasped and kept by those close
Just forgotten and parceled up
Between feuding factions of degrading relatives
Each generation worse off than the next
More dis ease, dis comfort and dis informed brains
You know when you see it just for a second
A purpose in all this and then its taken
Told like a secret in the eyes of the inanimate
A face post mortem you can't erase the expression
For all that you believe you seem mighty unsure to leave
The things of make believe you thought worth not thinking
For all you that seem mighty
Its just your weakness dancing with others weakness
The not worthy identifying with the not worthy thinking up worth
The outer reflects the inner of the one able to reflect
The inner just covered with the outer mess of the reflect less
The building of the one day to do lists
Completion of this list the accomplishment of greatness
And the non doing pessimist in the stranglehold of longer lists
The allusiveness of the accomplishmentless is evolutionlessness
Those that complete to complete the next task
The reason some fall back
And like a Mighty Stag in a bitter October wind
The Alpha stand and prance strong
On the bones of the Beta herd instinctual
The weak Doe Eyed who follow
Dying choked on their worthlessness
Strangled in imagined innocence
Feigned purpose and mile long To Do lists
Thursday, 29 October 2015
Saturday, 17 October 2015
*When*
*When* 10/17/2015
When the power goes out
And everyone's left looking
I will already have seen and left
When your everything's gone in a blink
Mines just beginning
Eyes opening while yours are closing
Life fertilized on your losing
Get up because you're laying down
Soon
Arranging necessities not for forever
But for soon
You can't continue in this vein eternally
Dalliance with the inevitable
Cringe or applaud upcoming boom
Simplified beyond the just simple
So centered lightning flash doesn't surprise me
Tragedy just the next step along your way
Down with all the failed evolutions
Treading lightly over your misconstrued conclusions
Invalid misconceptions
You're winning while I'm losing
At least it seems so
In your eyes
The eyes of surprise
Deer in the headlights of the last light
Your dying light
Warming the hands of those left
Your replacements
Betterments
Wearing your leavings like stains of grass
Building the future because your past is past
When the power goes out
And everyone's left looking
I will already have seen and left
When your everything's gone in a blink
Mines just beginning
Eyes opening while yours are closing
Life fertilized on your losing
Get up because you're laying down
Soon
Arranging necessities not for forever
But for soon
You can't continue in this vein eternally
Dalliance with the inevitable
Cringe or applaud upcoming boom
Simplified beyond the just simple
So centered lightning flash doesn't surprise me
Tragedy just the next step along your way
Down with all the failed evolutions
Treading lightly over your misconstrued conclusions
Invalid misconceptions
You're winning while I'm losing
At least it seems so
In your eyes
The eyes of surprise
Deer in the headlights of the last light
Your dying light
Warming the hands of those left
Your replacements
Betterments
Wearing your leavings like stains of grass
Building the future because your past is past
Monday, 28 September 2015
* Marble Countertops * 09/28/2015
Two years two months two weeks two days
To teach me to think totally opposite
This body and mind in decay isnt the same
The whole pathway i walked in vainly insane
Went from waiting on a parole board
To waiting for social security
The most avid exerciser
To just catching my breath walking
The defeat in me isnt Name-Brand
Its the generic Age-Old inability
To coexist around others
To love without smothering
Just that after witnessing all the deaths
And wondering if they worked up until the moment
Does anyone ever get a month to reflect before going
Does the Rat-Race become your life
And if you stopped working
Would you stop living
Youve seen me and what ive completed
As a person dealt a shitty hand
So why do you mourn my Step-Back
My momentary hands on knee reflection
Havent I earned it
When others would sit passed out from psychotropics at night
While everyones passed out drunk in the darkness
My mind sits pondering meanings and connections
And its always amazing to see the peoples reflections
Reflecting themselves upon the judgements
Instead of looking inside at why they judge
Building the things others started instead
Of planning and creating yourself
Focusing on the focus placed upon
Instead of sharpening your own focus
Sharing 'In-Common-Nothings' instead
Of creating 'Somethings-Alone' to share
You can become caught up in the roads
Forgetting each paths meaning is destinations
Would never throw away this pristine consciousness
Built inside Supermax buildings hallogened
Over beer, drugs, thinking Herd-Intilect
When one learns thats the whole point of this
To just exist painless
Too many caught up with kids
And the total focus and raising of this
To be just the most facetous mother
Of the most flaky, purposeless kids
That hang themselves
From your Empty-Room-Minds given them
Question Mark Gallows
Your Cross-Border like the Rabbit Hole
You escape periodically bourgeoisily switching
Personas and clothes to Infatuate
Enemyize your friends soley for the push
To your next tragedy left
She's worse than him but you would never guess
Because she hides behind productivity like her breath
Same sized livers, hearts and gross amount of tears
Just that one gives a shit about society
And the likes and comments
Of cardboard cutout calcified peers
Companied each morning smelling of soaps
Six a.m. sharp with teeth gleaming
In order to enhance the $35 millions
Driving home on an empty tank of gas
Sore muscles can't even afford the bananas
Fucked her pussy so long cant pretend
Both rolling eyes when the pants come off
Like oh fuck not this again
Fuckin tire blows, out window half your paycheck goes
Have to buy my water from the city
Suck the dick of the power company
Just for lighting
Meaning lost in all of this
Infighting of the incrowds
Status and marble countertops
Holding more notice than the chiseled dates
Of the dead that did without
All you do all day
Like any of you have meaning
Or any of this roboticism
Can unmagnetize your bloods direction
Of six feet in the grave
Two years two months two weeks two days
To teach me to think totally opposite
This body and mind in decay isnt the same
The whole pathway i walked in vainly insane
Went from waiting on a parole board
To waiting for social security
The most avid exerciser
To just catching my breath walking
The defeat in me isnt Name-Brand
Its the generic Age-Old inability
To coexist around others
To love without smothering
Just that after witnessing all the deaths
And wondering if they worked up until the moment
Does anyone ever get a month to reflect before going
Does the Rat-Race become your life
And if you stopped working
Would you stop living
Youve seen me and what ive completed
As a person dealt a shitty hand
So why do you mourn my Step-Back
My momentary hands on knee reflection
Havent I earned it
When others would sit passed out from psychotropics at night
While everyones passed out drunk in the darkness
My mind sits pondering meanings and connections
And its always amazing to see the peoples reflections
Reflecting themselves upon the judgements
Instead of looking inside at why they judge
Building the things others started instead
Of planning and creating yourself
Focusing on the focus placed upon
Instead of sharpening your own focus
Sharing 'In-Common-Nothings' instead
Of creating 'Somethings-Alone' to share
You can become caught up in the roads
Forgetting each paths meaning is destinations
Would never throw away this pristine consciousness
Built inside Supermax buildings hallogened
Over beer, drugs, thinking Herd-Intilect
When one learns thats the whole point of this
To just exist painless
Too many caught up with kids
And the total focus and raising of this
To be just the most facetous mother
Of the most flaky, purposeless kids
That hang themselves
From your Empty-Room-Minds given them
Question Mark Gallows
Your Cross-Border like the Rabbit Hole
You escape periodically bourgeoisily switching
Personas and clothes to Infatuate
Enemyize your friends soley for the push
To your next tragedy left
She's worse than him but you would never guess
Because she hides behind productivity like her breath
Same sized livers, hearts and gross amount of tears
Just that one gives a shit about society
And the likes and comments
Of cardboard cutout calcified peers
Companied each morning smelling of soaps
Six a.m. sharp with teeth gleaming
In order to enhance the $35 millions
Driving home on an empty tank of gas
Sore muscles can't even afford the bananas
Fucked her pussy so long cant pretend
Both rolling eyes when the pants come off
Like oh fuck not this again
Fuckin tire blows, out window half your paycheck goes
Have to buy my water from the city
Suck the dick of the power company
Just for lighting
Meaning lost in all of this
Infighting of the incrowds
Status and marble countertops
Holding more notice than the chiseled dates
Of the dead that did without
All you do all day
Like any of you have meaning
Or any of this roboticism
Can unmagnetize your bloods direction
Of six feet in the grave
Tuesday, 22 September 2015
*Umbilical Gun* 09/22/2015
The pinnacle of delusion
Looking down
Had it with it because for a while
Had it all
From nothing to something
To nothing
To thinking about jumping
Bouncing back and forth between emotion
Wishing for the body slam
Dirted disappeared hurting
Listen to the townfolk thinktank
About his problem
Soon favor extended in solving
You should never peel back calous
And then run
You should never whiten teeth
With lemon
Outlive teeth over brushed
Or dedicate yourself to a perfect woman
Cause she'll consume you
Let go of heartbeat with lost lust
Letting go of a chemical high
The love of a woman
A species I'd not seen ten years
Was all mine for eight months
Same age yet ten younger
Because mentally caged as a boy
But her blasé blasts my soul like shotgun
Leaves me a bloody mess
Spongeing myself with my carelessness
Each sopping up and dirt slapped nerve ending
I give up every second
Each and every minute a casket
Hours like cremation
Days like the roots into brain
Lying dust under her tree of everything
I watered her with my soul unknowingly
One should hold back a piece
Just in case lying empty outstretched
Hands beseeching from casket easy chair
When you just become the old oil painting
Hanging from the wall in faded rose
And passing processions silently tick by
Wondering how he did it so long
Alone entombed only to give up consumed
By the most beautiful thing
Bore by a vagina and broken by one
Suckled the teats of life
And breastfed from my grinning reaper
As the little laugh she left me with resounds
In my thin skull like my first cry
The blood drips smack earth
Desperate eyes looking up at doctors finger noose
My nervous system one last time reaching for her
Nothing
Silence
With my last breath wishing
Heart attack upon her breast
Or the doctor would of just dropped me
Before i felt the coldness
And loved her eyes so much
The pinnacle of delusion
Looking down
Had it with it because for a while
Had it all
From nothing to something
To nothing
To thinking about jumping
Bouncing back and forth between emotion
Wishing for the body slam
Dirted disappeared hurting
Listen to the townfolk thinktank
About his problem
Soon favor extended in solving
You should never peel back calous
And then run
You should never whiten teeth
With lemon
Outlive teeth over brushed
Or dedicate yourself to a perfect woman
Cause she'll consume you
Let go of heartbeat with lost lust
Letting go of a chemical high
The love of a woman
A species I'd not seen ten years
Was all mine for eight months
Same age yet ten younger
Because mentally caged as a boy
But her blasé blasts my soul like shotgun
Leaves me a bloody mess
Spongeing myself with my carelessness
Each sopping up and dirt slapped nerve ending
I give up every second
Each and every minute a casket
Hours like cremation
Days like the roots into brain
Lying dust under her tree of everything
I watered her with my soul unknowingly
One should hold back a piece
Just in case lying empty outstretched
Hands beseeching from casket easy chair
When you just become the old oil painting
Hanging from the wall in faded rose
And passing processions silently tick by
Wondering how he did it so long
Alone entombed only to give up consumed
By the most beautiful thing
Bore by a vagina and broken by one
Suckled the teats of life
And breastfed from my grinning reaper
As the little laugh she left me with resounds
In my thin skull like my first cry
The blood drips smack earth
Desperate eyes looking up at doctors finger noose
My nervous system one last time reaching for her
Nothing
Silence
With my last breath wishing
Heart attack upon her breast
Or the doctor would of just dropped me
Before i felt the coldness
And loved her eyes so much
Monday, 21 September 2015
*Little Death* 09/21/2015
A sigh
After so much
Relearning to just sit
To unhurt
And feel the coolness of icewater
Lick my guts
Learning to live in the stillness
Again
Without needing or conversation
Without wondering
What she's thinking
And why
If this is loving
Why is it so full of hurting
It isn't worth it anymore
To play along
To exert effort upon effort
Upon something so distant
Towards somebody that keeps moving
Dodging my heart like the enemies
Loveplated bullets
See how far and how much
How many times the downs
Can turn into ups
And the chest pains
And liver pains
Will let me up
Empty
Gutted out my penis
By her sugar scented breath
The constant nightlong cuddles
Attempted unto limb atrophy
The fake smile held upon face
Sending forth condolences
Upon condolences
Until empty
Silent breathing
The hurt
That's supposed to help
And prevent future hurt
Just a pause button for more hurt
Forgot the lesson of pain
In the game of love
Insane buried in mud
Prayin for rain
Sit muddled unmuddling
Okaying the not OK
Just focus on falling and waking
In a centered state
And look forward to a little something
During the day
Even if its just the ice water
Even if its the thought
The truth
That she's just way better off
And my ending is just her start
A beginning my ending
Like it always was
Like I'm used to
Sang he who's been the boogeyman
He who knows the strengths
The benefits and lessons
In all ego deaths
In each broken heart
A sigh
After so much
Relearning to just sit
To unhurt
And feel the coolness of icewater
Lick my guts
Learning to live in the stillness
Again
Without needing or conversation
Without wondering
What she's thinking
And why
If this is loving
Why is it so full of hurting
It isn't worth it anymore
To play along
To exert effort upon effort
Upon something so distant
Towards somebody that keeps moving
Dodging my heart like the enemies
Loveplated bullets
See how far and how much
How many times the downs
Can turn into ups
And the chest pains
And liver pains
Will let me up
Empty
Gutted out my penis
By her sugar scented breath
The constant nightlong cuddles
Attempted unto limb atrophy
The fake smile held upon face
Sending forth condolences
Upon condolences
Until empty
Silent breathing
The hurt
That's supposed to help
And prevent future hurt
Just a pause button for more hurt
Forgot the lesson of pain
In the game of love
Insane buried in mud
Prayin for rain
Sit muddled unmuddling
Okaying the not OK
Just focus on falling and waking
In a centered state
And look forward to a little something
During the day
Even if its just the ice water
Even if its the thought
The truth
That she's just way better off
And my ending is just her start
A beginning my ending
Like it always was
Like I'm used to
Sang he who's been the boogeyman
He who knows the strengths
The benefits and lessons
In all ego deaths
In each broken heart
Sunday, 13 September 2015
*Sandman's Song* 12/02/2012
Wanting eternal winter
Seeking another ice age
Single white male seeking speedy execution
Death wish, damn this life. Arrghhh
Exhausted sea sick sitting solitary
Sartre's nausea sprinkled with
Marxist materialism, Staind lyrics
Sung beside Soul Asylums
" so long ago i don't remember when"
" because inside you're ugly- step"
"You're ugly like me- to the ledge"
Seeing modern conformity as below me
Been there. Done that. Don't want it
Feeling better than everyone
Haughtiness hurts me worse than insanity
KNOW I've done this all on purpose, this
Place, this pain manufactured myself
Isn't anything i wish for or miss
To do or not to do--- the question
Out of sight out of mind equals oppression
Unless minds are sour from parasitic
Consumerism. Thirty Decembers I've studied
Pain, Rage, Love, relationships, happiness
Hurt realest emotion I've experienced
Crack fiend speed walking Las Vegas
Streets. Meth addict missing teeth and heart
Beats. Captive caged inside modern day
Dungeon. Drunk on it, staggering
Drueling deprived so deep
Me and mine. Where last name becomes
Ones crime. Want this? Do you?
This only thing left me, expressing
Diseased western societies downfall
In rhyme. String Theory beside Spiral Nebula
As humanity starves to death
Suicides, cries out for something
Anything. " god give us a reason please"
To be. Nothing. Happy. Nothing. Except
Wanting things. Taking things from
Third World, oppressed, coal colored "things"
My people. My species. My holidays
Are days held in infamy, are
Nights those i loved chose sleeping
Eternally instead of continuing faking
Happy feelings in front of fascist T.V.s
Saddest part is wanting t.v., me, even
Though knowing the adverts and propaganda
Showing. Painful piece understanding
Pornography, Playboy and womens oppression
But still seeking, peeking clandestinely
Wanting it, needing it, knowing its
Wrong. Its all wrong. Oppressive this
Emotion. All ive left, this love called
Oppression. Called sickness. Give me pistol
Bridge, train, suicide by cop. Violent
Violence silence sick materialist happiness
Wanting eternal winter
Seeking another ice age
Single white male seeking speedy execution
Death wish, damn this life. Arrghhh
Exhausted sea sick sitting solitary
Sartre's nausea sprinkled with
Marxist materialism, Staind lyrics
Sung beside Soul Asylums
" so long ago i don't remember when"
" because inside you're ugly- step"
"You're ugly like me- to the ledge"
Seeing modern conformity as below me
Been there. Done that. Don't want it
Feeling better than everyone
Haughtiness hurts me worse than insanity
KNOW I've done this all on purpose, this
Place, this pain manufactured myself
Isn't anything i wish for or miss
To do or not to do--- the question
Out of sight out of mind equals oppression
Unless minds are sour from parasitic
Consumerism. Thirty Decembers I've studied
Pain, Rage, Love, relationships, happiness
Hurt realest emotion I've experienced
Crack fiend speed walking Las Vegas
Streets. Meth addict missing teeth and heart
Beats. Captive caged inside modern day
Dungeon. Drunk on it, staggering
Drueling deprived so deep
Me and mine. Where last name becomes
Ones crime. Want this? Do you?
This only thing left me, expressing
Diseased western societies downfall
In rhyme. String Theory beside Spiral Nebula
As humanity starves to death
Suicides, cries out for something
Anything. " god give us a reason please"
To be. Nothing. Happy. Nothing. Except
Wanting things. Taking things from
Third World, oppressed, coal colored "things"
My people. My species. My holidays
Are days held in infamy, are
Nights those i loved chose sleeping
Eternally instead of continuing faking
Happy feelings in front of fascist T.V.s
Saddest part is wanting t.v., me, even
Though knowing the adverts and propaganda
Showing. Painful piece understanding
Pornography, Playboy and womens oppression
But still seeking, peeking clandestinely
Wanting it, needing it, knowing its
Wrong. Its all wrong. Oppressive this
Emotion. All ive left, this love called
Oppression. Called sickness. Give me pistol
Bridge, train, suicide by cop. Violent
Violence silence sick materialist happiness
*Sahara* 12/08/2012
Caffine twitches during psychotropic sniffles
Intermittent comradeships between paranoid enemities
Witness one soul in us all screaming ABSURDITY
Given short end of stick since birth but still swimming
Making it in humorous interactions and trifles
We are just boys being caged by boys
Males punishing males for what males do
Dear cruel world ten years of my existance
I spent huddled around flexi-pens fighting this
I'm spent now, huddled in on myself seeking comfort
Seeking something other than this
Forgive me my stubborness, craziness and weakness
I miss things. I want things. I need things
Its taken me ten years to understand this
This mind. This body. This pain is
Pristine, poetic, put it on each second
Like a feather headdress, broken sunglasses
Came, saw, conquered, was conquered, left still looking
Did what was made to do, what had to do
Do you out there do what you do for others or you
Does doing things depend on who
What's left to be said, speaking of what's left
Empty inside, barren surroundings, fearing
Skin sand dune, bone basin, greasy leftover residue
Of blood left seeping into unforgiving cement
Nothing left but these eyes staring childish
This grin accepting what's next
Caffine twitches during psychotropic sniffles
Intermittent comradeships between paranoid enemities
Witness one soul in us all screaming ABSURDITY
Given short end of stick since birth but still swimming
Making it in humorous interactions and trifles
We are just boys being caged by boys
Males punishing males for what males do
Dear cruel world ten years of my existance
I spent huddled around flexi-pens fighting this
I'm spent now, huddled in on myself seeking comfort
Seeking something other than this
Forgive me my stubborness, craziness and weakness
I miss things. I want things. I need things
Its taken me ten years to understand this
This mind. This body. This pain is
Pristine, poetic, put it on each second
Like a feather headdress, broken sunglasses
Came, saw, conquered, was conquered, left still looking
Did what was made to do, what had to do
Do you out there do what you do for others or you
Does doing things depend on who
What's left to be said, speaking of what's left
Empty inside, barren surroundings, fearing
Skin sand dune, bone basin, greasy leftover residue
Of blood left seeping into unforgiving cement
Nothing left but these eyes staring childish
This grin accepting what's next
*Hold Me* 10/15/2012
Sixteen soldiers can reannimate an idol
Revolutionary violence and study go hand in hand
More you are willing to die for revolution
More you will deepen knowledge seeking solution
Take torture remake it strengthen off it
Make death poetic end agitational statement
Let young know can kill flesh that's all
Live on in essays, hearts, minds poetically immortal
Bodily hungers surpassed by those for the people
Switching objectives scientifically as needed
Sniffing air ascertaining fear to target into
Lowered shoulders heightens heart rate like pow wow drum
Shrouded facial pain beneath sweat slicked skin
Veins in forearms like mighty root digging in
Body, mind willing as heart begins skipping beat
Everythings your last, better make finale' sweet
Internal laughter as suited swine tighten torture
Hurt me motherfuckers, that's right hurt me more
Return in kind in future all you can create
Build in this body and mind more reason to hate
Love for women diseased patriarchy thus far prevents
Causes this masculine skin objective to invent
Grey matter in back and brain tuned into species
Able to hold future in nerve cell prior to creating
Underneath these stars prison hallogens prevent seeing
Beside this mountain razor wire prevents touching
Progression knows these phenomenon are within reach
Must build and break superstructure slowly for offspring
Become beacon broadcasting intermittent energy
Huddle into this rock naked Morse Code like being
Fits and starts with fingers on insanities pulse
Control Unit Solitary I.M.U. creates and destroys me
Like suicide bomber blowing building then disappearing
Live like its my last breath modern day revolutionary
Live like revolutionary woman sleeps soundly beside me
Future exists already in the blood of our youth
Beware poisons young comrade as they enhance what you can't do
Learned one thing, isolation increases equal to ones progression
More one stands alone more you only count on you
Now bury these bones beside the rest and keep on
Masculine pain reearthed into feminine embrace
Sixteen soldiers can reannimate an idol
Revolutionary violence and study go hand in hand
More you are willing to die for revolution
More you will deepen knowledge seeking solution
Take torture remake it strengthen off it
Make death poetic end agitational statement
Let young know can kill flesh that's all
Live on in essays, hearts, minds poetically immortal
Bodily hungers surpassed by those for the people
Switching objectives scientifically as needed
Sniffing air ascertaining fear to target into
Lowered shoulders heightens heart rate like pow wow drum
Shrouded facial pain beneath sweat slicked skin
Veins in forearms like mighty root digging in
Body, mind willing as heart begins skipping beat
Everythings your last, better make finale' sweet
Internal laughter as suited swine tighten torture
Hurt me motherfuckers, that's right hurt me more
Return in kind in future all you can create
Build in this body and mind more reason to hate
Love for women diseased patriarchy thus far prevents
Causes this masculine skin objective to invent
Grey matter in back and brain tuned into species
Able to hold future in nerve cell prior to creating
Underneath these stars prison hallogens prevent seeing
Beside this mountain razor wire prevents touching
Progression knows these phenomenon are within reach
Must build and break superstructure slowly for offspring
Become beacon broadcasting intermittent energy
Huddle into this rock naked Morse Code like being
Fits and starts with fingers on insanities pulse
Control Unit Solitary I.M.U. creates and destroys me
Like suicide bomber blowing building then disappearing
Live like its my last breath modern day revolutionary
Live like revolutionary woman sleeps soundly beside me
Future exists already in the blood of our youth
Beware poisons young comrade as they enhance what you can't do
Learned one thing, isolation increases equal to ones progression
More one stands alone more you only count on you
Now bury these bones beside the rest and keep on
Masculine pain reearthed into feminine embrace
*Revolutionary* 09/28/2012
I eat when I'm hungry
I sleep when I'm tired
I do what i must do to survive
I train my body on a schedule
Wash myself only when dirty
My life is geared on slowly die
I sweep the floor daily
Cleanliness becomes best friend
Wrists chapped from rinsing underwater
I agitate like its my last essay
Chew bologni like its T-bone steak
Fresh black top laid outside plexi-glass
My red carpet for upcoming release
Air vents unplugged every centimeter
Cement shines like glistening emerald
Goatee and mustache twisted perfectly
Ponytail ponied beneath bleached bandana
Ingrown toenail removed with staple
Paranoia and pain eased by sweat
My mail feels sealed by monarchs
Opening each letter revealing seven secrets
Licking shut letters like building pyramid
Scribbling zip codes like death row pardons
Cucumber soap dances with ink fragrance
Scientific wind chime causes voices to sing
Mountain out window a clenched fist
Cold chills on skin standing ovation
Perfectly placed necessities spell combinations
Only hung peach blossom goddesses unlock
Voice box underground with months of disuse
Forebrain sizzling synapses to wrists
Pointer middle finger and thumb revolution
Scribbling game plans geographically induced
Pass out periodically easing tension in back
Body will tell you when its tired
Masculine skin requires imaginative attention
Cinder block shades sparkle in sun reflection
Lenin's tomb photo remembers ones past
Oxford dictionary thumbed well like hammer
Curl water-weighted mattress like swinging sickle
Sweat dripped cement smelling of earth
Stainless steel glistening with bleach
Live like everything holding me pushes me
Like the long march and Maos Arabian mounts withers
Trample these pigs smiling beside me
I eat when I'm hungry
I sleep when I'm tired
I do what i must do to survive
I train my body on a schedule
Wash myself only when dirty
My life is geared on slowly die
I sweep the floor daily
Cleanliness becomes best friend
Wrists chapped from rinsing underwater
I agitate like its my last essay
Chew bologni like its T-bone steak
Fresh black top laid outside plexi-glass
My red carpet for upcoming release
Air vents unplugged every centimeter
Cement shines like glistening emerald
Goatee and mustache twisted perfectly
Ponytail ponied beneath bleached bandana
Ingrown toenail removed with staple
Paranoia and pain eased by sweat
My mail feels sealed by monarchs
Opening each letter revealing seven secrets
Licking shut letters like building pyramid
Scribbling zip codes like death row pardons
Cucumber soap dances with ink fragrance
Scientific wind chime causes voices to sing
Mountain out window a clenched fist
Cold chills on skin standing ovation
Perfectly placed necessities spell combinations
Only hung peach blossom goddesses unlock
Voice box underground with months of disuse
Forebrain sizzling synapses to wrists
Pointer middle finger and thumb revolution
Scribbling game plans geographically induced
Pass out periodically easing tension in back
Body will tell you when its tired
Masculine skin requires imaginative attention
Cinder block shades sparkle in sun reflection
Lenin's tomb photo remembers ones past
Oxford dictionary thumbed well like hammer
Curl water-weighted mattress like swinging sickle
Sweat dripped cement smelling of earth
Stainless steel glistening with bleach
Live like everything holding me pushes me
Like the long march and Maos Arabian mounts withers
Trample these pigs smiling beside me
*Cultural Kinetics* 09/17/2012
Blood runs onto cold cement
Tears drip into plastic pillow
Heart squeezes this pain through tired vein
Brain surveys insane like thundercloud to rain
Back bent twisted inward loud popping twinges
Knees crack then snap, dying by inches
Stomach attacks hourly chewed on like bone
Kicked knee bends back, it just won't let go
When this pen bleeds beautifully creatively agitating
And this skin seeps salt creating my animation
Eyes of the hurricane building body, poem making
Can convince skin its not living alone
Able to outwit bourgeois nervous system
More one hurts because what kin created
More one wants to see kin failing
Technological advancements enhancing suffering
Take technology advance revolutionary beginning
Outwit halfwit palefaced sneering mustaches
Outlive fat fucks then recruit sons and daughters
Smile to those not believing solitary cell burning bright
Laser to lantern pigs better fear the night
String from sock hangs staple from letter
Revolutionary art spinning circles round recycled air
Find comfort in length and weight of uncut hair
Rusty steel door covered in postage stamps
Toothpaste sealed off infestation
Perpetual calander decades in advance waiting
Steady strengthen each second buried in isolation
Blood runs onto cold cement
Tears drip into plastic pillow
Heart squeezes this pain through tired vein
Brain surveys insane like thundercloud to rain
Back bent twisted inward loud popping twinges
Knees crack then snap, dying by inches
Stomach attacks hourly chewed on like bone
Kicked knee bends back, it just won't let go
When this pen bleeds beautifully creatively agitating
And this skin seeps salt creating my animation
Eyes of the hurricane building body, poem making
Can convince skin its not living alone
Able to outwit bourgeois nervous system
More one hurts because what kin created
More one wants to see kin failing
Technological advancements enhancing suffering
Take technology advance revolutionary beginning
Outwit halfwit palefaced sneering mustaches
Outlive fat fucks then recruit sons and daughters
Smile to those not believing solitary cell burning bright
Laser to lantern pigs better fear the night
String from sock hangs staple from letter
Revolutionary art spinning circles round recycled air
Find comfort in length and weight of uncut hair
Rusty steel door covered in postage stamps
Toothpaste sealed off infestation
Perpetual calander decades in advance waiting
Steady strengthen each second buried in isolation
*BORN AGAIN* 10/29/2012
From a womb to a room to a cell to a grave
From darkness to sun to darkness and death
Hurts me to breathe already at thirty
I hurt digesting, tasting--- hurts being me
Heart has been busted, breaks each second passing
Give me a gun and I'd end it, my truth, no laughing
Hurts walking, sitting, sleeping and thinking
Hurts me wondering why i hurt you for hurting me
She plays when dead serious, lies behind her loving
These eyes see deceiving and leaving in her believing
Pain from cradle to grave shoveled on me all sides
Worst part is people believe hurting me will save me
Been like this since birth, tough love, tough life
When all along looking for reason in real eyes
Read my gravestone curled fetal in bed at night
Feel those standing over me more question mark than cry
Even in all this desolation do not want to die
Do not want to play-act living society beside
Belong buried between two stages barely alive
This why remaining locked down deep inside
Doesn't bother building excuses to remain reasons why
Autopsy reveal brain, stomach, heart tumors
Notice doubled up nerve endings and vein capacity
Stomach twisted knots eating holes bloody lumpy
Spine cracked several places held together just barely
Knee tendons snapped so much numbed beyond nerves
Pupils nearsighted never looking beyond bricks
Died from deadly disease didn't know he was sick
Used to tremors, twitches, quivers, deadly bodily twinges
Frequent flyer miles sitting pretending living
Smile rictus no humor left in these teeth
Everything beyond this second too much to believe
Steady struggle with this feeling all i am capable
Gotta make it till tomorrow, survive it till mail call
Dwell on dead buried beings become brainwaves
He was my age, she was pretty, both bones now eternity sleeping
Will have nails filed perfect with teeth gleaming
All that brushing for nothing when worms begin feeding
Sleep dreams regress childhood places and memories
Gone back not forward welcome to institutionalizing
When reason to live taken build reasons not to die
Seasons drag like decades as years fly by
Monday today begins week of daylight savings
Dead walk hallows eve with millions captured waiting
Paceing, trick or treating, societies monsters or those imitating
Take candy for now before pigs begin chasing
Take pork young thug before broken entombed waiting
Comrades forgive unintentional cruelty lacking humanity
When like this eating self sometimes passes on chewing
So many buried before me, so many after
So like our bourgeois upbringing thinking one matters
Let one poem reach one poetic youthful revolutionary soldier
Allow one essay to create insight in future agitator
Spent life living for future being slowly devoured by my past
Been damned since birth, genesis all builders of life
From a womb to a room to a cell to a grave
From darkness to sun to darkness and death
Hurts me to breathe already at thirty
I hurt digesting, tasting--- hurts being me
Heart has been busted, breaks each second passing
Give me a gun and I'd end it, my truth, no laughing
Hurts walking, sitting, sleeping and thinking
Hurts me wondering why i hurt you for hurting me
She plays when dead serious, lies behind her loving
These eyes see deceiving and leaving in her believing
Pain from cradle to grave shoveled on me all sides
Worst part is people believe hurting me will save me
Been like this since birth, tough love, tough life
When all along looking for reason in real eyes
Read my gravestone curled fetal in bed at night
Feel those standing over me more question mark than cry
Even in all this desolation do not want to die
Do not want to play-act living society beside
Belong buried between two stages barely alive
This why remaining locked down deep inside
Doesn't bother building excuses to remain reasons why
Autopsy reveal brain, stomach, heart tumors
Notice doubled up nerve endings and vein capacity
Stomach twisted knots eating holes bloody lumpy
Spine cracked several places held together just barely
Knee tendons snapped so much numbed beyond nerves
Pupils nearsighted never looking beyond bricks
Died from deadly disease didn't know he was sick
Used to tremors, twitches, quivers, deadly bodily twinges
Frequent flyer miles sitting pretending living
Smile rictus no humor left in these teeth
Everything beyond this second too much to believe
Steady struggle with this feeling all i am capable
Gotta make it till tomorrow, survive it till mail call
Dwell on dead buried beings become brainwaves
He was my age, she was pretty, both bones now eternity sleeping
Will have nails filed perfect with teeth gleaming
All that brushing for nothing when worms begin feeding
Sleep dreams regress childhood places and memories
Gone back not forward welcome to institutionalizing
When reason to live taken build reasons not to die
Seasons drag like decades as years fly by
Monday today begins week of daylight savings
Dead walk hallows eve with millions captured waiting
Paceing, trick or treating, societies monsters or those imitating
Take candy for now before pigs begin chasing
Take pork young thug before broken entombed waiting
Comrades forgive unintentional cruelty lacking humanity
When like this eating self sometimes passes on chewing
So many buried before me, so many after
So like our bourgeois upbringing thinking one matters
Let one poem reach one poetic youthful revolutionary soldier
Allow one essay to create insight in future agitator
Spent life living for future being slowly devoured by my past
Been damned since birth, genesis all builders of life
Wednesday, 9 September 2015
* Hert * 09/09/2015
I wish to pass from this existance
My only fault is i began to believe
Was taken and molded into compliant form
Starry eyed dispersing every particle towards her
Now i sit in this house alone
It was all for her
Feel like a fool of the utmost
How could i be taken
Why do i sit waiting for more
In the window listening for her car
Rearranging things perfectly on the off chance
Her favorite box of crackers on the counter waiting unopened
Her favorite expensive Starbucks brand coffee
Tilted just so to catch the dying light
I knew this day would come
Undone completely in every aspect
I've proven my point that i could
Could my heartbeat now let me go
Can my family understand that my hurt
Unnumbed like the rest i sat smoldering
And i shouldered the moments you all escaped
Like a champ but I'm through please
Carry my body with your drunken steps
Drop my casket into the grass
With your atrophied limbs and sickly breaths
Let me go for once
Euelogize your son not for what he's done
But what he didn't
Because i lasted for the fact of learning
Something worth mourning
And she was the one
Found her and lost her as is life
I just want one more night in paradise
Assuge this pain that's been tearing at me
This hurt that's written plain behind the soberest
Greenest, saddest eyes the worlds ever seen
Now take me into your inky blackness
Like your pupils or the dark cleft of skin
Between uneven appendages porcelained
Protruding second big toe obscene
Like my poisoned blood and shrinking brain
Like the violence just inches away
Like if i could of just known it would end this way
I wish to pass from this existance
My only fault is i began to believe
Was taken and molded into compliant form
Starry eyed dispersing every particle towards her
Now i sit in this house alone
It was all for her
Feel like a fool of the utmost
How could i be taken
Why do i sit waiting for more
In the window listening for her car
Rearranging things perfectly on the off chance
Her favorite box of crackers on the counter waiting unopened
Her favorite expensive Starbucks brand coffee
Tilted just so to catch the dying light
I knew this day would come
Undone completely in every aspect
I've proven my point that i could
Could my heartbeat now let me go
Can my family understand that my hurt
Unnumbed like the rest i sat smoldering
And i shouldered the moments you all escaped
Like a champ but I'm through please
Carry my body with your drunken steps
Drop my casket into the grass
With your atrophied limbs and sickly breaths
Let me go for once
Euelogize your son not for what he's done
But what he didn't
Because i lasted for the fact of learning
Something worth mourning
And she was the one
Found her and lost her as is life
I just want one more night in paradise
Assuge this pain that's been tearing at me
This hurt that's written plain behind the soberest
Greenest, saddest eyes the worlds ever seen
Now take me into your inky blackness
Like your pupils or the dark cleft of skin
Between uneven appendages porcelained
Protruding second big toe obscene
Like my poisoned blood and shrinking brain
Like the violence just inches away
Like if i could of just known it would end this way
Tuesday, 8 September 2015
*Curtain Call* 09/08/2015
The problem with a person who writes is every new creation must top his or her last creation.
If you think about it too much it fucks with creativity.
I'm sitting here, man, at the very edge of everything I've experienced. I'm broken down. Eventually the table of life just tips. Too much weight. My major problem is the time clocks and gas meters ticking off time and cents. Fuck you. Fuck your measly system of sticks and carrots.
I've got a girl in mexico waiting on Visas for her and her two children's return. Me and her were inseperable for eight months. And I've not seen her in two weeks.
Part of me understands she's really here, in the states, but she's avoiding me because i became too obsessed.
Reality is smashed upon me. My uncle Randall, who has struggled with schizophrenia his whole life, and diabetes, is just a pale, staring mute being led around by my limping, cancer fighting, 80 year old grandfather. My brother, an intravenous heroin and Christal meth user, just went to prison for at least five years. My father, an alcoholic who once took so much of the Anabuse alcoholic drug that supposedly cures the " disease" , that he was paralyzed, walks around town drunk, picking fights with everyone. My other uncle can be seen blowing on his alcohol interlock device in his truck, a machine that prevents anyone who had beer on their breath from driving, or driving his other truck without the device.
The dead or dying. I've not even drank a beer or a joint in ten years. Granted, i spent ten years in prison. Been on parole two years. Just completed it.
Whatever.
The charade. When all i want to do is look into her eyes one last time. Feel her skin.
I'm just this insane prick. This 33 year old man that's destined to go batshit. Its my turn to accept the baton. To run my guts out. Fuck.
I'm going to the university of Utah for hepatitas treatments soon as I'm insuranceless and they need guinea pigs.
I don't know anymore. I wanted to help my lady get her papers. To get her children their papers. To be legal. To be citizens. Its what she wanted. She wanted to get our own place. Now I'm in this place alone. Waiting.
I'm this over cleaner. This over organizer. This person with three abodes i look after.
Its a fucking trip. The heart beateth no matter what.
What's real. What is the truth?
Everyone has their truth. Can i create my own truth or the truth of others? And isnt it all just tied into money. Money and truth. Truth in money.
You can buy truth. You can buy someone's time.
Bought people.
The purpose? Is there reason in this?
Am i this disfigured face, sexually spectrumed, anti social, institutionalized, crazy man for a reason?
We just want to be told we are sometimes. That we have purpose. Meaning. . .
What's expected of me after all that time in a solitary cell? I mean goddamn. You should see her. The beauty. I was the most unalone I've ever been. I'm caught up. Wantless and Waiting. Seeking more from something that's been gone for so long. On the edge of abyss knowing, just KNOWING, I'm the puppet of puppeteers with their own purposes. Slowly ingraining me with their meanings. Carefully skirting the sad possibility which is me.
The don't look at hims, snide under breaths. Hands over the mouth. Behind backs and behind the scenes. Just wanting a moments clarity to show me what I've suspected all along. That I'm just this experiment experiencing what I'm meant not what I've been dealt.
Dealing with this. The deepest which is only shallowness. The meaning which is meaninglessness. The voices of the voiceless become delusions of the disillusioned lumpen proletariat. The chain the only thing left to lose in this society of depressed lifeless. Welcome to our world. The specieless, emotionless wrecks. Where workings all we've got left and dyings shamefull.
Guilty of loving too much unto the death. Maybe the whole purpose right there. Love Death.
The problem with a person who writes is every new creation must top his or her last creation.
If you think about it too much it fucks with creativity.
I'm sitting here, man, at the very edge of everything I've experienced. I'm broken down. Eventually the table of life just tips. Too much weight. My major problem is the time clocks and gas meters ticking off time and cents. Fuck you. Fuck your measly system of sticks and carrots.
I've got a girl in mexico waiting on Visas for her and her two children's return. Me and her were inseperable for eight months. And I've not seen her in two weeks.
Part of me understands she's really here, in the states, but she's avoiding me because i became too obsessed.
Reality is smashed upon me. My uncle Randall, who has struggled with schizophrenia his whole life, and diabetes, is just a pale, staring mute being led around by my limping, cancer fighting, 80 year old grandfather. My brother, an intravenous heroin and Christal meth user, just went to prison for at least five years. My father, an alcoholic who once took so much of the Anabuse alcoholic drug that supposedly cures the " disease" , that he was paralyzed, walks around town drunk, picking fights with everyone. My other uncle can be seen blowing on his alcohol interlock device in his truck, a machine that prevents anyone who had beer on their breath from driving, or driving his other truck without the device.
The dead or dying. I've not even drank a beer or a joint in ten years. Granted, i spent ten years in prison. Been on parole two years. Just completed it.
Whatever.
The charade. When all i want to do is look into her eyes one last time. Feel her skin.
I'm just this insane prick. This 33 year old man that's destined to go batshit. Its my turn to accept the baton. To run my guts out. Fuck.
I'm going to the university of Utah for hepatitas treatments soon as I'm insuranceless and they need guinea pigs.
I don't know anymore. I wanted to help my lady get her papers. To get her children their papers. To be legal. To be citizens. Its what she wanted. She wanted to get our own place. Now I'm in this place alone. Waiting.
I'm this over cleaner. This over organizer. This person with three abodes i look after.
Its a fucking trip. The heart beateth no matter what.
What's real. What is the truth?
Everyone has their truth. Can i create my own truth or the truth of others? And isnt it all just tied into money. Money and truth. Truth in money.
You can buy truth. You can buy someone's time.
Bought people.
The purpose? Is there reason in this?
Am i this disfigured face, sexually spectrumed, anti social, institutionalized, crazy man for a reason?
We just want to be told we are sometimes. That we have purpose. Meaning. . .
What's expected of me after all that time in a solitary cell? I mean goddamn. You should see her. The beauty. I was the most unalone I've ever been. I'm caught up. Wantless and Waiting. Seeking more from something that's been gone for so long. On the edge of abyss knowing, just KNOWING, I'm the puppet of puppeteers with their own purposes. Slowly ingraining me with their meanings. Carefully skirting the sad possibility which is me.
The don't look at hims, snide under breaths. Hands over the mouth. Behind backs and behind the scenes. Just wanting a moments clarity to show me what I've suspected all along. That I'm just this experiment experiencing what I'm meant not what I've been dealt.
Dealing with this. The deepest which is only shallowness. The meaning which is meaninglessness. The voices of the voiceless become delusions of the disillusioned lumpen proletariat. The chain the only thing left to lose in this society of depressed lifeless. Welcome to our world. The specieless, emotionless wrecks. Where workings all we've got left and dyings shamefull.
Guilty of loving too much unto the death. Maybe the whole purpose right there. Love Death.
Thursday, 3 September 2015
*Lolligaggin* 09/03/2015
The throbbing in your right abdomen persists. Its the sign of impending death. What to do... What to do... What to do.
Immobility eases it some. Its funny, i lauded myself for so long for my ability to keep a clear head and equanimity through anything. Now i feel like a drowning rag doll most of the time.
And the nightmares. The waking up suddenly after four hours sleep to full body cramps. Just want to lay here but i get hungry...
I go around. See people. People i knew. But... I guess people i KNOW (?) Why is everything in past tense now? Like i used to this. I used to that. Even as i do it i used to do it.
Found myself at the liqueur store the other day after my doctors appointment. But it didn't open till noon. It was 8am. I don't drink. I shouldn't really. I get crazy.
Vegas sounds real good.
I wish to remain clearheaded as possible through it all as its getting real crazy deep lately. Its like tasty. Life has become tasty. I'm savoring the tragedy around me. Its everywhere. Pain, sorrow, confusion. Yummy.
If you try to avoid it'll get below your skin. Not good. Savor, buddy. Taste, retch but do not swallow.
It's all a game basically feels like. Like, ya, there's purpose to it all somewhere but fuck if i know what it is. Its just like checkpoints are crossed and i acknowledge them with a tip of the hat and continue. Onward. Always forward into the mist.
I've did it. Everything set out finished. Done. Stick a fork in me.
Fingers itch knowing the grand finale is nigh.
The damn graveyard doesn't seem very comfortable though anymore. I used to go there after work when i used to walk. Now i figure to become missing but presumed sounds funner. To find some blue lake to be found in as skelaton. Poetry.
Everytime i end something completely something begins completely. Its why i enjoy startings and finale's.
Poems, relationships, steaks.
Shits getting wild in the Rockies motherfuckers. Better hold on.
Kisses.
The throbbing in your right abdomen persists. Its the sign of impending death. What to do... What to do... What to do.
Immobility eases it some. Its funny, i lauded myself for so long for my ability to keep a clear head and equanimity through anything. Now i feel like a drowning rag doll most of the time.
And the nightmares. The waking up suddenly after four hours sleep to full body cramps. Just want to lay here but i get hungry...
I go around. See people. People i knew. But... I guess people i KNOW (?) Why is everything in past tense now? Like i used to this. I used to that. Even as i do it i used to do it.
Found myself at the liqueur store the other day after my doctors appointment. But it didn't open till noon. It was 8am. I don't drink. I shouldn't really. I get crazy.
Vegas sounds real good.
I wish to remain clearheaded as possible through it all as its getting real crazy deep lately. Its like tasty. Life has become tasty. I'm savoring the tragedy around me. Its everywhere. Pain, sorrow, confusion. Yummy.
If you try to avoid it'll get below your skin. Not good. Savor, buddy. Taste, retch but do not swallow.
It's all a game basically feels like. Like, ya, there's purpose to it all somewhere but fuck if i know what it is. Its just like checkpoints are crossed and i acknowledge them with a tip of the hat and continue. Onward. Always forward into the mist.
I've did it. Everything set out finished. Done. Stick a fork in me.
Fingers itch knowing the grand finale is nigh.
The damn graveyard doesn't seem very comfortable though anymore. I used to go there after work when i used to walk. Now i figure to become missing but presumed sounds funner. To find some blue lake to be found in as skelaton. Poetry.
Everytime i end something completely something begins completely. Its why i enjoy startings and finale's.
Poems, relationships, steaks.
Shits getting wild in the Rockies motherfuckers. Better hold on.
Kisses.
Sunday, 30 August 2015
* Never Mine Always Hers* 08/30/2015
It was like a whirlwind
Temptuous
And as i sit windless, alone
I miss the feel of the gales bloodily
Tearing away cruelessly at my skin
It was like in eight months
I forgot all about those ten years
Solitary and Alone
But now they're here again
Like sandpaper filled seashells stepped on
By bloody, windblown skin
Never once did she rub my back
The money i made was hers
She even left me on my birthday
Never mine but always her hurt
My concern
Total focus
Now I'm left with nothing except all I'd given up
You can't imagine it
The way her brown eyes conveyed mystery
Asian eyes on latina ass cheeks
Her toes and fingers those of Mayan princess
Hair cascaded down shoulders of an Aztec queen
Her walk the most preciously obscene
Jeans, black eye liner and nail polish
Beyond angelic speaking her new language
Driving her stickshift Tiida in anger
Walking through the door after work in tears
Up and down in constant emotion
I was crushed and beaten with her feelings
It was always too much and never enough
It was she's needy and I've nothing left
Wishing someone can handle her
Wanting to kill anyone who touches her
Touched her so much that now I'm dead
She's gone now a country away
And now I'm here again with my feet on the ground
And i don't like it i want it to stop
Just end please this feeling
Read meaning in these bloody footsteps
Of a man who flew because of a woman
For so long he forgot how to walk
It was like a whirlwind
Temptuous
And as i sit windless, alone
I miss the feel of the gales bloodily
Tearing away cruelessly at my skin
It was like in eight months
I forgot all about those ten years
Solitary and Alone
But now they're here again
Like sandpaper filled seashells stepped on
By bloody, windblown skin
Never once did she rub my back
The money i made was hers
She even left me on my birthday
Never mine but always her hurt
My concern
Total focus
Now I'm left with nothing except all I'd given up
You can't imagine it
The way her brown eyes conveyed mystery
Asian eyes on latina ass cheeks
Her toes and fingers those of Mayan princess
Hair cascaded down shoulders of an Aztec queen
Her walk the most preciously obscene
Jeans, black eye liner and nail polish
Beyond angelic speaking her new language
Driving her stickshift Tiida in anger
Walking through the door after work in tears
Up and down in constant emotion
I was crushed and beaten with her feelings
It was always too much and never enough
It was she's needy and I've nothing left
Wishing someone can handle her
Wanting to kill anyone who touches her
Touched her so much that now I'm dead
She's gone now a country away
And now I'm here again with my feet on the ground
And i don't like it i want it to stop
Just end please this feeling
Read meaning in these bloody footsteps
Of a man who flew because of a woman
For so long he forgot how to walk
Tuesday, 25 August 2015
*Shitty Fingers* 08/25/2015
Weight lifting and watering the lawn
Not working to enrich the man anymore
Set on using my wiles to gather others waste
Enough of everything floating around to subsist
Preparing for the worst by relaxing
Letting it happen while muscle builds
Bilking the government for pantry paycheck
Going to use my prison mental upset to get
Manipulate the system until system implodes
Until the land earthquakes into sea
Or falling rock rockets cometesque earthward
Collapsing the tunnelworks hidden like Mormon swearword
Not gonna do it anymore
Playing along with your consumption
The playacting of wanting blasted upon brainstems
With trivial knowledges driveled unto deathishness
Made up histories and make believe futures
So out of reach and out of touch
Beyond retching and explatory motherfucks
Like shitting the only truth we've left
On the comode with the one remaining truth
What goes in must go out
And what empires rise
Must be wiped from the face of the world
Skidmarked like cheap gravestones
Trailing like skelatons behind amerikkan flags
Flushed away like lower class families dads
Imprisoned in noncorrectional sewers
Making it another day in order to flush it
That's it
That's all I've got
Weight lifting and watering the lawn
Not working to enrich the man anymore
Set on using my wiles to gather others waste
Enough of everything floating around to subsist
Preparing for the worst by relaxing
Letting it happen while muscle builds
Bilking the government for pantry paycheck
Going to use my prison mental upset to get
Manipulate the system until system implodes
Until the land earthquakes into sea
Or falling rock rockets cometesque earthward
Collapsing the tunnelworks hidden like Mormon swearword
Not gonna do it anymore
Playing along with your consumption
The playacting of wanting blasted upon brainstems
With trivial knowledges driveled unto deathishness
Made up histories and make believe futures
So out of reach and out of touch
Beyond retching and explatory motherfucks
Like shitting the only truth we've left
On the comode with the one remaining truth
What goes in must go out
And what empires rise
Must be wiped from the face of the world
Skidmarked like cheap gravestones
Trailing like skelatons behind amerikkan flags
Flushed away like lower class families dads
Imprisoned in noncorrectional sewers
Making it another day in order to flush it
That's it
That's all I've got
Friday, 14 August 2015
*A Step Up* 08/14/2015
Occupational safety hazard
That is
Your life's killing you
Just waiting patiently for the grave
Silently wishing you outlive the others
A non contract signed with life
That so much effort must be set forth
For so much rest inbetween
Tit for Tat
Deathbedded amazed wondering
I did this for that
You know when you see unchanged
It changes you
Maybe thats why the unchanging never change
They can't see you
Why is it that death makes us live
That a funeral makes us feel better
Why do we wish graves
Upon those the closest to us
But pray long lives on strange celebrities
When non buisness becomes felonious
And non cooperation becomes terrorist
The act of not paying idolaterous
The establishment ravishing you into the perfect consumerist
Immersed in bullshit a constant
Damning yourself for playing along
Can't them sorry motherfuckers just get it over with
Die already you bastards
My future family seeks your soiled place mats
Lives full of future and meaning
Verses your smelly alcohol breaths
Full of pain and confusion
Let those who seek less consuming
Replace the consumed
Its the right of the evolved beings
The shoulders of the weak non doing
Occupational safety hazard
That is
Your life's killing you
Just waiting patiently for the grave
Silently wishing you outlive the others
A non contract signed with life
That so much effort must be set forth
For so much rest inbetween
Tit for Tat
Deathbedded amazed wondering
I did this for that
You know when you see unchanged
It changes you
Maybe thats why the unchanging never change
They can't see you
Why is it that death makes us live
That a funeral makes us feel better
Why do we wish graves
Upon those the closest to us
But pray long lives on strange celebrities
When non buisness becomes felonious
And non cooperation becomes terrorist
The act of not paying idolaterous
The establishment ravishing you into the perfect consumerist
Immersed in bullshit a constant
Damning yourself for playing along
Can't them sorry motherfuckers just get it over with
Die already you bastards
My future family seeks your soiled place mats
Lives full of future and meaning
Verses your smelly alcohol breaths
Full of pain and confusion
Let those who seek less consuming
Replace the consumed
Its the right of the evolved beings
The shoulders of the weak non doing
Wednesday, 12 August 2015
*Absence of Needing* 08/12/2015
So you think you can dance
Motherfucker
With the Demons enchanting
Solo thoughts in solitary cells
So you think this existence
Has meaning
Like clean shirts and shiny cars
Or is it all just made up
Make believe until we leave
Must to Dust
So she's the one
And he's finally come
And your new toys are perfect
Fit to fit just like it was meant
Sleeping good wrapped up in consumerist delusions
I say so you think you can die
This minute without regret
So you think you can live
Without regretting moments
To leave it all
On the doorstep of the banks
Take yourself to the woods
Rot your teeth as you feed your being
Being nothing
Planning nothing
Getting up
Chopping firewood
Chewing jerky
Falling asleep
Total disconnect from oil roads
The daily here to there
The worry of your smell
Or shinyness or dullness of hair
Giving up you might say
But its not
Its...
Like...
Just finally
Evolving up
To the trees and the dirt
To being a being
Without needing
That which isn't worth needing
Its...
Finally...
BREATHING
So you think you can dance
Motherfucker
With the Demons enchanting
Solo thoughts in solitary cells
So you think this existence
Has meaning
Like clean shirts and shiny cars
Or is it all just made up
Make believe until we leave
Must to Dust
So she's the one
And he's finally come
And your new toys are perfect
Fit to fit just like it was meant
Sleeping good wrapped up in consumerist delusions
I say so you think you can die
This minute without regret
So you think you can live
Without regretting moments
To leave it all
On the doorstep of the banks
Take yourself to the woods
Rot your teeth as you feed your being
Being nothing
Planning nothing
Getting up
Chopping firewood
Chewing jerky
Falling asleep
Total disconnect from oil roads
The daily here to there
The worry of your smell
Or shinyness or dullness of hair
Giving up you might say
But its not
Its...
Like...
Just finally
Evolving up
To the trees and the dirt
To being a being
Without needing
That which isn't worth needing
Its...
Finally...
BREATHING
Friday, 31 July 2015
*Pretend* 07/31/2015
Temporary insanity pleaded
As you lie kneeding
Illusions of granduer
Of the utmost and lowest
Its happened many times before
This fucking hostage situation
This drainage of your being
Because of total focus on another
What do you do when your whole life
Feels orchestrated from the get
Like the paths you walk and decisions you make
Decided upon. Traps set. Some mathamatic kismet
Fucking shit
Sitting here after so much
My fucking struggle with everything
Plain as day its got me shook up
The givings up
The gotta gets
The need to this
The have to that
Fuck you
And everything
The overdraft credit cards
The gas tanks constant thirst
Bills and ultimatums
Urges urged upon
The dirt we tread forgotten
For the minutes of pop songs
Scratched on ears
I've been here before
Just yesterday we played this
Hiding and seeking meaning
I'll do this again
With the wind as my foe
And the sun as my friend
Peeking blinds
Bleeding inside
The only difference I'm sober this time
Dulled
By mountains surmounted
Darkened by the hopelessness surrounding
The eye smiles I've passed on countlessly
Infected by your sadness
Felled by your sickness of fear
In the coward populace
Of the mainstreams
Prying eyes
Temporary insanity pleaded
As you lie kneeding
Illusions of granduer
Of the utmost and lowest
Its happened many times before
This fucking hostage situation
This drainage of your being
Because of total focus on another
What do you do when your whole life
Feels orchestrated from the get
Like the paths you walk and decisions you make
Decided upon. Traps set. Some mathamatic kismet
Fucking shit
Sitting here after so much
My fucking struggle with everything
Plain as day its got me shook up
The givings up
The gotta gets
The need to this
The have to that
Fuck you
And everything
The overdraft credit cards
The gas tanks constant thirst
Bills and ultimatums
Urges urged upon
The dirt we tread forgotten
For the minutes of pop songs
Scratched on ears
I've been here before
Just yesterday we played this
Hiding and seeking meaning
I'll do this again
With the wind as my foe
And the sun as my friend
Peeking blinds
Bleeding inside
The only difference I'm sober this time
Dulled
By mountains surmounted
Darkened by the hopelessness surrounding
The eye smiles I've passed on countlessly
Infected by your sadness
Felled by your sickness of fear
In the coward populace
Of the mainstreams
Prying eyes
Sunday, 26 July 2015
*My Curse* 07/26/2015
Free to believe
That you and me
Can see
The edge of eternity
Free enough to live pantless
In a shack
Between two rivers
Underneath the trees
You should of seen my face
That day a year ago
When my parole officer uttered
One more year parole
One more working
More exemplary conduct
Or else
Was almost felled
True. True heartfelt
Been treed by this system so long
Grown tail
Learned the fine art of slow motion
Hanging silently
Alone
I did it
You dirty motherfuckers
I beat you
For the sake of them too
Had nothing to do with me or you
The times you told them never
The moments you snickered at their genius
For your momentary boredom relief
Saying never enough to clever
Creates symptoms of forever
Animosity aimed
And animosity aimed at the unclever
Fells trees on your boredom
Drowns you in your two rivers
The same landscape i retreat to in victory
Will be your apology
Unaccepted yet taken
So hang silently reversed
Oppressor scum
Your worst is yet to come
Free to believe
That you and me
Can see
The edge of eternity
Free enough to live pantless
In a shack
Between two rivers
Underneath the trees
You should of seen my face
That day a year ago
When my parole officer uttered
One more year parole
One more working
More exemplary conduct
Or else
Was almost felled
True. True heartfelt
Been treed by this system so long
Grown tail
Learned the fine art of slow motion
Hanging silently
Alone
I did it
You dirty motherfuckers
I beat you
For the sake of them too
Had nothing to do with me or you
The times you told them never
The moments you snickered at their genius
For your momentary boredom relief
Saying never enough to clever
Creates symptoms of forever
Animosity aimed
And animosity aimed at the unclever
Fells trees on your boredom
Drowns you in your two rivers
The same landscape i retreat to in victory
Will be your apology
Unaccepted yet taken
So hang silently reversed
Oppressor scum
Your worst is yet to come
Sunday, 28 June 2015
*Hurry Up* 06/28/2015
Trippage
Like the steel of the shank
Rammed into your chest
And all you can think
Heart ceasing
Is the rain that created the rust
In my belly
Pretty...
So very...
Pretty
Completion
Like the only way of pyramids
Of revolutions
In segments and steps
Generations of deaths
Heads we've kissed
We tread upwards onto
Pretty kisses turned broken teeth
Its this fear of being afraid
This " Time Peace "
Seeking okayness in its ticking
At all costs
Knowing your worst enemy is your friend
And being real hurts but only shortly
Tick tick
Fakeness fatal in finality
In length
So, my friend...
Please...
Pretty pretty please...
Pretend
The machines slowly clear the trees
Cedar forest i grew up in
Robin and blue jay chasing
Alcohol slowly stripping the humanity
From the livers of the bloodsharing
Deaths sought and wished for
By all parties involved
So i uninvolve
Evolved
I'm alone
Basically
But there's she
You've heard of it right? Move on...
Seeking things
Sharing of things coinciding
Momentarily
Its all it was
When gains are obtained
Seekings change
Creating obstacles serving purposes...
Blah blah blah
We begin basing thirty year knowledges
Directed towards two day
Month Olds
When we've taken this long to unlearn
What we was taught
We reteach?
WTF!
Its not today or tomorrow or yesterday
Its all days guiding this day
Its the reasons gave for a fist
Verses the real reason of knuckles
Compared to what witnesses see
Divided by twenty years afterward
And the sun glinting off the scar tissue
Into the eyes
Causing a slight hitch in the breath
A memory
Slight
A determination. Quickening
Of Black Boots scaling a White House
Trippage
Like the steel of the shank
Rammed into your chest
And all you can think
Heart ceasing
Is the rain that created the rust
In my belly
Pretty...
So very...
Pretty
Completion
Like the only way of pyramids
Of revolutions
In segments and steps
Generations of deaths
Heads we've kissed
We tread upwards onto
Pretty kisses turned broken teeth
Its this fear of being afraid
This " Time Peace "
Seeking okayness in its ticking
At all costs
Knowing your worst enemy is your friend
And being real hurts but only shortly
Tick tick
Fakeness fatal in finality
In length
So, my friend...
Please...
Pretty pretty please...
Pretend
The machines slowly clear the trees
Cedar forest i grew up in
Robin and blue jay chasing
Alcohol slowly stripping the humanity
From the livers of the bloodsharing
Deaths sought and wished for
By all parties involved
So i uninvolve
Evolved
I'm alone
Basically
But there's she
You've heard of it right? Move on...
Seeking things
Sharing of things coinciding
Momentarily
Its all it was
When gains are obtained
Seekings change
Creating obstacles serving purposes...
Blah blah blah
We begin basing thirty year knowledges
Directed towards two day
Month Olds
When we've taken this long to unlearn
What we was taught
We reteach?
WTF!
Its not today or tomorrow or yesterday
Its all days guiding this day
Its the reasons gave for a fist
Verses the real reason of knuckles
Compared to what witnesses see
Divided by twenty years afterward
And the sun glinting off the scar tissue
Into the eyes
Causing a slight hitch in the breath
A memory
Slight
A determination. Quickening
Of Black Boots scaling a White House
*Trippage* 06/28/2015
"Congratulations", he says, the parole officer, "You're the first Green to complete parole successfully." "And early." Three years early."
Nice. I guess. . .
But we forget.
The years i did. Ten in total. In a solitary cell. The voices and body bags and letters unsent. The unspoken of the missing spokes in my wheel which i rotated and balanced each day. Each second. In order to one day rise above. Crawl above.
But now i just want the choice. The decisions to be mine. Should i work or not? 90 hours in order to just pay the process of getting to and from work with brushed teeth and full belly. I'm ordered to work. Its stipulation. But maybe now I'll quit, be a little hungry and have fuzz teeth. But. Have time. Have energy. For myself.
I can leave the state now...
No more surprise, armed visits and piss tests. No more monthly fees in order to keep bullets in the guns hipped and at the ready if i make a sudden move.
Sudden move... Maybe that's it. I can move now. Suddenly. They'll have to knock now before they kick in my door. They'll have to tell me to freeze now before they shoot.
I guess, what I'm trying to say, is Theres Alot lost. Its just not as simple as a completion of a process because i was " corrected" by corrections.
No. Because i wasn't.
Everything i was told to do in prison... I did the opposite. The parole programs upon release... I criticized. I laughed at. Because if i would of embraced their "Gods" and "relapse is a part of recovery" where would i be now?
Hmmm?
No God. No relapse. No love for those that showed nothing but hate to me for years. No rehabilitation. But bucking. With strength. With the knowledge that the entire in-justice system is corrupt. That to even have reading material or food and water isn't a guarantee when your suffering in chains in this "land of the free."
That you can be murdered by state employees and be sent home as a suicide. That psychotropics are a tool used to break you, handed out by smiling, supposed "care" givers and medical "professionals."
I've worked. I've bucked you you dirty, crooked bastards. Even though you gave me three extra years for "refusing medications."
I've beat you at your own games in order to show the world you play unfair. In order to make known the hypocrisy of your war on drugs. The racism in your freedom and the lowness in your higher power philosophies.
You're either war recruited to fight for imperialist armies or chained. Chain or be chained.
Police force or policed.
Pork producing, cashier register, toilet scrubbing middle men. On the fence. Waiting. Supporting troops and perpetuating the prison industrial complex with your non-attention. With your captive hate.
Fuck your wars and your soldiers. Fuck your badged, coward, P.D. Swat teams. Power to all prisoners. To Jailhouse Lawyers, those refusing meds and compliance. To sprinklers pulled and shit thrown. Rise up you righteous.
To those warred upon. Luck. Knowledge that your cause is true and right and the contradiction is in your favor more each day.
Fuck your system. Set up to control at all cost in order to keep in power your elite.
But most of all.
Fuck those that still believe in this system. That still seek to raise offspring to assimilate into this shitmill.
Whatever happened to resistance?
To those that stand up for what's right even though they know they'll be knocked down again and again.
The fear of being knocked down. The redness of face in he who trips beside his peers. The terror of stumbling and slipping. Tripping.
But what is life, what is knowledge if not learning to be more sure-footed by stumbling? To learn to be graceful while doing the ungraceful?
Its this, this even-road, this "same-same" flat surface emotion and lifestyle. This ability to just take a pill and never feel good or bad but just O.K.
This perpetual war supported, never to be lost or won, but continued just for the sake, the money, of the business involved in war. . .
"Congratulations", he says, the parole officer, "You're the first Green to complete parole successfully." "And early." Three years early."
Nice. I guess. . .
But we forget.
The years i did. Ten in total. In a solitary cell. The voices and body bags and letters unsent. The unspoken of the missing spokes in my wheel which i rotated and balanced each day. Each second. In order to one day rise above. Crawl above.
But now i just want the choice. The decisions to be mine. Should i work or not? 90 hours in order to just pay the process of getting to and from work with brushed teeth and full belly. I'm ordered to work. Its stipulation. But maybe now I'll quit, be a little hungry and have fuzz teeth. But. Have time. Have energy. For myself.
I can leave the state now...
No more surprise, armed visits and piss tests. No more monthly fees in order to keep bullets in the guns hipped and at the ready if i make a sudden move.
Sudden move... Maybe that's it. I can move now. Suddenly. They'll have to knock now before they kick in my door. They'll have to tell me to freeze now before they shoot.
I guess, what I'm trying to say, is Theres Alot lost. Its just not as simple as a completion of a process because i was " corrected" by corrections.
No. Because i wasn't.
Everything i was told to do in prison... I did the opposite. The parole programs upon release... I criticized. I laughed at. Because if i would of embraced their "Gods" and "relapse is a part of recovery" where would i be now?
Hmmm?
No God. No relapse. No love for those that showed nothing but hate to me for years. No rehabilitation. But bucking. With strength. With the knowledge that the entire in-justice system is corrupt. That to even have reading material or food and water isn't a guarantee when your suffering in chains in this "land of the free."
That you can be murdered by state employees and be sent home as a suicide. That psychotropics are a tool used to break you, handed out by smiling, supposed "care" givers and medical "professionals."
I've worked. I've bucked you you dirty, crooked bastards. Even though you gave me three extra years for "refusing medications."
I've beat you at your own games in order to show the world you play unfair. In order to make known the hypocrisy of your war on drugs. The racism in your freedom and the lowness in your higher power philosophies.
You're either war recruited to fight for imperialist armies or chained. Chain or be chained.
Police force or policed.
Pork producing, cashier register, toilet scrubbing middle men. On the fence. Waiting. Supporting troops and perpetuating the prison industrial complex with your non-attention. With your captive hate.
Fuck your wars and your soldiers. Fuck your badged, coward, P.D. Swat teams. Power to all prisoners. To Jailhouse Lawyers, those refusing meds and compliance. To sprinklers pulled and shit thrown. Rise up you righteous.
To those warred upon. Luck. Knowledge that your cause is true and right and the contradiction is in your favor more each day.
Fuck your system. Set up to control at all cost in order to keep in power your elite.
But most of all.
Fuck those that still believe in this system. That still seek to raise offspring to assimilate into this shitmill.
Whatever happened to resistance?
To those that stand up for what's right even though they know they'll be knocked down again and again.
The fear of being knocked down. The redness of face in he who trips beside his peers. The terror of stumbling and slipping. Tripping.
But what is life, what is knowledge if not learning to be more sure-footed by stumbling? To learn to be graceful while doing the ungraceful?
Its this, this even-road, this "same-same" flat surface emotion and lifestyle. This ability to just take a pill and never feel good or bad but just O.K.
This perpetual war supported, never to be lost or won, but continued just for the sake, the money, of the business involved in war. . .
*Trippage ||* 06/28/2015
For the citizens that need to feel "better-than": the Christians that need to prove their fake religion is realer than someone elses fake religion.
Prison populations stagnant. Even though many die at the hands of the homicidal state. Because Theres always that son or daughter. That one, being groomed for chains, who feels good and bad intensely.
The enemy?
Emotion?
The ups and downs of life looked down upon. The rights and wrongs in beliefs. Proofs and disproofs. Common sense verses the common goose-step which is us. The U.$. Kkkalifornicated.
Kkkamouflageicated.
Seeing stars in homicidal soldiers. Black and white demons in the koncentration kamp khaki blues.
And damn if he or she becomes upset and slams a door or two. Damn if you can't control.
Damn the bumps in your road, please, as we perfect the art of road removal. See the bumps as fixable. Ignore until its too late.
Says he at the hands of this pristine, maintained, poetic jackhammer.
Its nothing. Swear it.
Just a little pothole. . .
For the citizens that need to feel "better-than": the Christians that need to prove their fake religion is realer than someone elses fake religion.
Prison populations stagnant. Even though many die at the hands of the homicidal state. Because Theres always that son or daughter. That one, being groomed for chains, who feels good and bad intensely.
The enemy?
Emotion?
The ups and downs of life looked down upon. The rights and wrongs in beliefs. Proofs and disproofs. Common sense verses the common goose-step which is us. The U.$. Kkkalifornicated.
Kkkamouflageicated.
Seeing stars in homicidal soldiers. Black and white demons in the koncentration kamp khaki blues.
And damn if he or she becomes upset and slams a door or two. Damn if you can't control.
Damn the bumps in your road, please, as we perfect the art of road removal. See the bumps as fixable. Ignore until its too late.
Says he at the hands of this pristine, maintained, poetic jackhammer.
Its nothing. Swear it.
Just a little pothole. . .
Sunday, 14 June 2015
*This Time* 06/14/2015
Corrosive cornucopia of caring
Sexing constantly
Seeing that this that was always wanted
Causes this weakness
To begin at endings
Knowing its all constant continuation
And nothing stops just changes
Contradictions contradicting repeatedly
Too much not enough
Enough too much
Causing heart hurt from over exertion
Or pains from loneliness
Overgiving or underliving
You should see her though
The way her hips sing songs
Her eyes speak in tongues
About lost tribes sculpturing meaning
Upon this rock of meaninglessness
Skin that hurts in its softness
Anger that heals in its fierceness
Slaps and hugs and claspings
Letting go only to hold on
So much we've been through
And its only been six months
More emotions than six years in a cell
In just six minutes of looking in each others eyes
June 16th. One month shy
Of two years out
Missed one day of work
This whole time
And it was her birthday
My reason. She's become
Reason
" I want to go home to Mexico"
Crestfallen. Her children
Her parents she's missing
I'm the tether that holds her she says
But I'm wrist chained
Waist wrapped
Around her sweet existence
Grasping
Never felt this tear clouded smiling
This sickness of heart that causes butterflies
This lifting and falling of feeling
I'm lost
Tossed upon her waves
Curled up in her hair like feminine finger
Tracing the stubble along jawline
Thinking maybe
Maybe this time
This month this cycle
A baby
Our baby
Maybe...
Corrosive cornucopia of caring
Sexing constantly
Seeing that this that was always wanted
Causes this weakness
To begin at endings
Knowing its all constant continuation
And nothing stops just changes
Contradictions contradicting repeatedly
Too much not enough
Enough too much
Causing heart hurt from over exertion
Or pains from loneliness
Overgiving or underliving
You should see her though
The way her hips sing songs
Her eyes speak in tongues
About lost tribes sculpturing meaning
Upon this rock of meaninglessness
Skin that hurts in its softness
Anger that heals in its fierceness
Slaps and hugs and claspings
Letting go only to hold on
So much we've been through
And its only been six months
More emotions than six years in a cell
In just six minutes of looking in each others eyes
June 16th. One month shy
Of two years out
Missed one day of work
This whole time
And it was her birthday
My reason. She's become
Reason
" I want to go home to Mexico"
Crestfallen. Her children
Her parents she's missing
I'm the tether that holds her she says
But I'm wrist chained
Waist wrapped
Around her sweet existence
Grasping
Never felt this tear clouded smiling
This sickness of heart that causes butterflies
This lifting and falling of feeling
I'm lost
Tossed upon her waves
Curled up in her hair like feminine finger
Tracing the stubble along jawline
Thinking maybe
Maybe this time
This month this cycle
A baby
Our baby
Maybe...
*Dear Heart* 06/13/2015
Its been six months since i switched jobs from the truck stop to the pig farms. On the day i interviewed i met this international Mexican girl. We've been inseparable ever since. We've got ourselves a place. Been living together two months. But...
Its driving me crazy. The worry. The constant wondering about if this is real. If what we have is reality or just some illusion. Like , have i built myself this castle in the sand that's already washed away and I'm just seeing the mirage of what once was.
Its all in the fact that I've got no life. She says. I mean, not meanly does she say it but its that I've cut off my life ive built, since getting out of prison two years ago, just for her. Left my dad and brother to fend for themselves. Gave up the addition id built onto my fathers house, in order to pay rent on a Trailor house in town. Town. I hate living in town. I hate not having time for myself.
Its like all i gave up for her was all that she saw in me to like. And six months to the day, in two days exactly, its all going to end. I feel it. We're done. Through.
And all i can think is " WHEW" . "That was wild and fun yet trying as all hell and I'm glad its over."
Its time to return to the cedar trees and the solitude. My solitude. My writing. My mind.
I've missed you. . .
Its been six months since i switched jobs from the truck stop to the pig farms. On the day i interviewed i met this international Mexican girl. We've been inseparable ever since. We've got ourselves a place. Been living together two months. But...
Its driving me crazy. The worry. The constant wondering about if this is real. If what we have is reality or just some illusion. Like , have i built myself this castle in the sand that's already washed away and I'm just seeing the mirage of what once was.
Its all in the fact that I've got no life. She says. I mean, not meanly does she say it but its that I've cut off my life ive built, since getting out of prison two years ago, just for her. Left my dad and brother to fend for themselves. Gave up the addition id built onto my fathers house, in order to pay rent on a Trailor house in town. Town. I hate living in town. I hate not having time for myself.
Its like all i gave up for her was all that she saw in me to like. And six months to the day, in two days exactly, its all going to end. I feel it. We're done. Through.
And all i can think is " WHEW" . "That was wild and fun yet trying as all hell and I'm glad its over."
Its time to return to the cedar trees and the solitude. My solitude. My writing. My mind.
I've missed you. . .
Thursday, 26 March 2015
* Silent Ships * 03/26/2015
If you sit after a strenuous workout and think
Realizing you've been acting like an utter fool
For the simple fact you gave up your exercise
Seeking serotonin in an impossible relationship
When you wake up
When you knew before you opened your eyes
That you shouldn't have stirred
Should of remained blind
Because it was so easy to lead and lead on
Dumb and stupid
They say the intelligent practice the strenuous physical
Because it frees up the ability in the mental
I say I've let the girl lead the blind so long because
I wanted to walk in the dark for once
To see how the rest feel
As the curls put the cap on top
Of my bench press, squat outlook
I noticed again that relationships
Mean nothing in this age of meaninglessness
That your breath, the breath we breathe alone
Can be listened to unto bothering
Or silenced until your listening of other breaths
Detects the bothered that have forgotten
Noisily breathing seeking noisier breaths
I.E. relationship
My heart thumps with the knowledge silence is my friend
And everyone must first themselves come to this conclusion alone
And my voice and eyes become what some discover
Instead of what this visage covers
Nothing
Turned into a something
That reflects the things shined upon me
With no emotion or needing
Just the acknowledgment that in passing
We recognize the noises seconds are creating
And we
As simple complex skin instruments
Take in and exhale with certain rings laced with feelings
Tones of the worst among us megaphoned
Because faces shine with beauty
The voices with the answers silenced because they seem ugly
Its a game of lenses and electricity
A volleyball of the insane stupidity
That you'll never see with veins caked and greasy
With a heart that doesn't beat completely
Its ghostly with the overlarge and underskinny
Seeking momentary-pain-endings in THINGS
That just perpetuate the pain in their veins
The shrinking of brains and loudening of breaths
Until they can't take it and snap
Finding the silence finally in finality
Like this is it
The current in the current
Only those that know nonexistance while existing
Silence in the noisy
Relationship in a society of nonrelationship
Can say they've lived in the minute
For the lives of the next
Can witness what it is to cherish each second
For the sake of the one day existent
Who'll carry evolution into its silence
And bring meaning to the present greed meaninglessness
Capitalists can talk themselves to death as we wait in the shadows
The everpresent
Relationshipless
If you sit after a strenuous workout and think
Realizing you've been acting like an utter fool
For the simple fact you gave up your exercise
Seeking serotonin in an impossible relationship
When you wake up
When you knew before you opened your eyes
That you shouldn't have stirred
Should of remained blind
Because it was so easy to lead and lead on
Dumb and stupid
They say the intelligent practice the strenuous physical
Because it frees up the ability in the mental
I say I've let the girl lead the blind so long because
I wanted to walk in the dark for once
To see how the rest feel
As the curls put the cap on top
Of my bench press, squat outlook
I noticed again that relationships
Mean nothing in this age of meaninglessness
That your breath, the breath we breathe alone
Can be listened to unto bothering
Or silenced until your listening of other breaths
Detects the bothered that have forgotten
Noisily breathing seeking noisier breaths
I.E. relationship
My heart thumps with the knowledge silence is my friend
And everyone must first themselves come to this conclusion alone
And my voice and eyes become what some discover
Instead of what this visage covers
Nothing
Turned into a something
That reflects the things shined upon me
With no emotion or needing
Just the acknowledgment that in passing
We recognize the noises seconds are creating
And we
As simple complex skin instruments
Take in and exhale with certain rings laced with feelings
Tones of the worst among us megaphoned
Because faces shine with beauty
The voices with the answers silenced because they seem ugly
Its a game of lenses and electricity
A volleyball of the insane stupidity
That you'll never see with veins caked and greasy
With a heart that doesn't beat completely
Its ghostly with the overlarge and underskinny
Seeking momentary-pain-endings in THINGS
That just perpetuate the pain in their veins
The shrinking of brains and loudening of breaths
Until they can't take it and snap
Finding the silence finally in finality
Like this is it
The current in the current
Only those that know nonexistance while existing
Silence in the noisy
Relationship in a society of nonrelationship
Can say they've lived in the minute
For the lives of the next
Can witness what it is to cherish each second
For the sake of the one day existent
Who'll carry evolution into its silence
And bring meaning to the present greed meaninglessness
Capitalists can talk themselves to death as we wait in the shadows
The everpresent
Relationshipless
Monday, 16 March 2015
* Threesome * 03/16/2015
Death fucks me up and so do girls
When people die its like they must haunt my memories
Times shared together rerunned repeatedly
Searching for meaning
Relationships began with big dreams in mind
But ended because i convince myself I'm a burden
Is it the classic bachelor guilt syndrome
Where i blame the breakup on the ones i hurt
Sex and memories shuffled in my mind
Getting sick of the same old day in day out
Until you lose it for a while and seek it out
I told you so isn't allowed overtop gravestones
I love you so isn't meant soley
I love you now so but her now so
And the telling you so so that your soul can suffer more
No
As species are fastforwarded intellectually
The key is to not stagnate or become dependent
Stick and move creatively relationship up
Then separate like we must from this boring oil
Like we must from the Washington and Jefferson
Godheads imagined in minds long dust
Like we must impregnate and fight wanderlust
So confused searching for the pattern
That will explain the beginning
But we can't understand the meaning until the ending
So theres a tomorrow for the confused
Time left for the sick
Numb-know-everythings sure signs of imminent endings
An empires demise is always forecasted as a new beginning
A Womans love is just the hate for her loves last ending reincarnated
Like the flowers growing through the skulls
Of the final 300 amerikkan soldiers
Immortalized underneath fields of grass stained victors
Portrayed on big screens warning future generations
Beware warmongering blind imperialism
Sure sign of imminent ending
Like her head on your chest
And all you can think about is her roommates underthings
Death fucks me up and so do girls
When people die its like they must haunt my memories
Times shared together rerunned repeatedly
Searching for meaning
Relationships began with big dreams in mind
But ended because i convince myself I'm a burden
Is it the classic bachelor guilt syndrome
Where i blame the breakup on the ones i hurt
Sex and memories shuffled in my mind
Getting sick of the same old day in day out
Until you lose it for a while and seek it out
I told you so isn't allowed overtop gravestones
I love you so isn't meant soley
I love you now so but her now so
And the telling you so so that your soul can suffer more
No
As species are fastforwarded intellectually
The key is to not stagnate or become dependent
Stick and move creatively relationship up
Then separate like we must from this boring oil
Like we must from the Washington and Jefferson
Godheads imagined in minds long dust
Like we must impregnate and fight wanderlust
So confused searching for the pattern
That will explain the beginning
But we can't understand the meaning until the ending
So theres a tomorrow for the confused
Time left for the sick
Numb-know-everythings sure signs of imminent endings
An empires demise is always forecasted as a new beginning
A Womans love is just the hate for her loves last ending reincarnated
Like the flowers growing through the skulls
Of the final 300 amerikkan soldiers
Immortalized underneath fields of grass stained victors
Portrayed on big screens warning future generations
Beware warmongering blind imperialism
Sure sign of imminent ending
Like her head on your chest
And all you can think about is her roommates underthings
Wednesday, 11 March 2015
* Jericho 101 * 03/11/2015
Like the name of some long lost city by the dead sea
Or the man ejected from his windshield at 95 mph
Whom i trained with for a month
Listening to him joke about how short a time it takes
From home to work
Life to death
A split second
Falling asleep at the wheels of our destinies
Found in lazyboys or bushes bloodless
Thoughtless, unconscious corpses existing soley
For anger and pain pinball
Better than thou speedometers pressed to the limits
Caught up in this world so much i forget
What I've been through and whom it took
To make it through as all was taken away
Know the community witnesses
This eyewitness of the worst
Speakless inhumanities just down the way
Upstate prison inkkkarceration nation
Where the pigs and nazis sport swastikas
Overseers overseeing oppressed nations
With aryan prison gangs
Judges, street and gulag pigs in cahoots
No first amendment rights to even a book
Dignities stolen as you curl fetal on strip cell
In front of a camera naked in solitary
Starved, sleep deprived, ridiculed day in and day out until
You catch on to punch line and begin laughing at yourself
Like... look at this worthless Fuck in the mirror
Ha. Ha ha. The dehumanizing demonizing injustice system
Set up to pick up where slavery left off
Built to cease and desist the revolutionary movement
This says something about the possibility of those
Them that rattle chains in dungeons unheard
Not the romanticized Hollywood but the true
Unshowered, uncut versions in the millions
Waking up to new days in perpetual nights
The minds capable of flight tethered
By the brains of the gutter hitlerites
Big banked behind oppressive educations and wars
Debt, CBS NBCed pipsqueek unscientific understudied oppressors
Unwilling and unwanting of flight
Grasping the earth with talons of oil rigs
Locked up and motionless like sows in heat
Shivering in D.C. and the U.N. U.$. Strongholds
Bastions of bastards military based around the world
Like sore thumbs sticking up waiting for the smash
Similar to stock markets and mortgages
Failing like bridges and nuclear families
His body ejected two mornings ago
Because he was fifteen minutes late for work
At a job, that because of time change, we had to wake at 3 a.m. for
And to clock out at 4 p.m. enslaved
So exhausted we envy Jericho his quick and sudden death
We envy he who is death rowed because his chain chafing
Will cease like the deceased in the field in the early morning
Breathing his last breath like , " fuck ya, Fuck this. Peace!"
Released. Like Ronnie Gardners last breath before swaztikad firing squads
Made up of his brothers
Listen to the keys rattle comrades as you sit tonight
Pupils dialated to the orange glows in night lights and halogens
They always change hands these
The captors become the captive
Its history, proven over and over again
Just listen
We. Kaching. Will. Click. WIN
Motherfucking indubitably
So rattle like the final gasps of histories most evil empire
For now
Prison house and military sore house of nations
The Great Snake Amerikka entrailed across mother earth
Slithering in and out of seas exposed to death by a thousand cuts
Like the coward you are labor aristocracy
Modern day fascist middle class
Awaiting the taking away and the slash
That's all class
Like the name of some long lost city by the dead sea
Or the man ejected from his windshield at 95 mph
Whom i trained with for a month
Listening to him joke about how short a time it takes
From home to work
Life to death
A split second
Falling asleep at the wheels of our destinies
Found in lazyboys or bushes bloodless
Thoughtless, unconscious corpses existing soley
For anger and pain pinball
Better than thou speedometers pressed to the limits
Caught up in this world so much i forget
What I've been through and whom it took
To make it through as all was taken away
Know the community witnesses
This eyewitness of the worst
Speakless inhumanities just down the way
Upstate prison inkkkarceration nation
Where the pigs and nazis sport swastikas
Overseers overseeing oppressed nations
With aryan prison gangs
Judges, street and gulag pigs in cahoots
No first amendment rights to even a book
Dignities stolen as you curl fetal on strip cell
In front of a camera naked in solitary
Starved, sleep deprived, ridiculed day in and day out until
You catch on to punch line and begin laughing at yourself
Like... look at this worthless Fuck in the mirror
Ha. Ha ha. The dehumanizing demonizing injustice system
Set up to pick up where slavery left off
Built to cease and desist the revolutionary movement
This says something about the possibility of those
Them that rattle chains in dungeons unheard
Not the romanticized Hollywood but the true
Unshowered, uncut versions in the millions
Waking up to new days in perpetual nights
The minds capable of flight tethered
By the brains of the gutter hitlerites
Big banked behind oppressive educations and wars
Debt, CBS NBCed pipsqueek unscientific understudied oppressors
Unwilling and unwanting of flight
Grasping the earth with talons of oil rigs
Locked up and motionless like sows in heat
Shivering in D.C. and the U.N. U.$. Strongholds
Bastions of bastards military based around the world
Like sore thumbs sticking up waiting for the smash
Similar to stock markets and mortgages
Failing like bridges and nuclear families
His body ejected two mornings ago
Because he was fifteen minutes late for work
At a job, that because of time change, we had to wake at 3 a.m. for
And to clock out at 4 p.m. enslaved
So exhausted we envy Jericho his quick and sudden death
We envy he who is death rowed because his chain chafing
Will cease like the deceased in the field in the early morning
Breathing his last breath like , " fuck ya, Fuck this. Peace!"
Released. Like Ronnie Gardners last breath before swaztikad firing squads
Made up of his brothers
Listen to the keys rattle comrades as you sit tonight
Pupils dialated to the orange glows in night lights and halogens
They always change hands these
The captors become the captive
Its history, proven over and over again
Just listen
We. Kaching. Will. Click. WIN
Motherfucking indubitably
So rattle like the final gasps of histories most evil empire
For now
Prison house and military sore house of nations
The Great Snake Amerikka entrailed across mother earth
Slithering in and out of seas exposed to death by a thousand cuts
Like the coward you are labor aristocracy
Modern day fascist middle class
Awaiting the taking away and the slash
That's all class
Thursday, 26 February 2015
* Prayer of Allegiance * 02/26/2015
Big prisons, big money, hidden racism
National oppression secreted away Abu Grahib style
Takes thirty years of reaganomics and drug war
To complete bourgeois smashing of middle class
Look into the evil eyes of every presidents final years
Podium lying with banker hands assed tightly manipulating
See the faces of returning soldiers
Stealing freedoms they were sworn to protect
Realizations
Rich protecting their existences
From realizations
Poor, oppressed realizations
At the towers of TV and radio stations
Posted up in prison towers
Crosshairs on the mind
Like the solitary cells set up to digest
Slowly, the minds and bodies of the most progressive
Those with nothing to lose but their chains
We will win again and again
Power to the people destined
Death to the puppeteers behind the silk curtain
Hungry and cold the strip celled await breakfast
Unbroken, refusing pharmaceutical poisons
Another day for the fact it weakens resolve
As all around captives snore doped to the gills
More punishment because of refusal
Acknowledgment of tiny resistance
With basic needs withheld
For years
Like he who completes inhuman task
With broken back and collapses
On the stage before witnesses
For the simple second of eye contact
As heart stops with a single audience member
Like, remember
When you tuck in your little ones
What you've done
With your 30.30 caliber firing squads
Sensory deprivation then painful lethal injections
Blink
A heartbeat
They can only hide us for so long
Force medicate and sleep deprive so long
Before those who cage have family caged
Before those who control have loved ones suffering under control
Before you pledge allegiance to your trash flag
Bloodied with the innocent buried in cement
Tarnished with the deformed babies born because U.$. munitions
Believe your God is a better God
But refuse consideration of no God
Because fear for your afterlife
Overrides your love of the present
Like Amerikka thinks they have the right
Because they're rich and Christian
To destroy the poor nonchristian
Pig religiosity, swine patriotism
Pink prison administrations and parole boards
Overseeing the brown skinned
Owing years and checks
Federal government withholding and holding
Down those able to rise up
My death will be like nothing
The life built forgot
Spit on even by those i loved
Its the way they want it
No foundation, no dedication
Nothing allowed to chapter one in to The End
Perpetuation
Of the enemy being your best friend
The priest being everything
And your own father and brother worthy of cop calling
Because property and property damage
In capitalist society overshadows family
White skin undershadows the prison system
Underlining skin tint warred upon and caged
To please your Jesus
Your fake Jesus
Heartbeatless, podiumed presidents
Cold as the strip celled
Fingers gripping microphones and flexi pens
The alive verses the dead
Muhammad verses Christian
Black verses white
Rich verses Poor
Day and Night, Life and Death
Contradictions like seconds
Hour hand continually overturns
We think in rising and falling empires
You, with your eternal afterlife crutches
Sitting in comfort
Unaware that the present uncomfortable
Hold the keys to Emerald city
Peoples future verses presents false pasts
The inevitable verses the rich, frightened hands
Clutching
Impossible, untenable historically disproven plans
Blink
A heartbeat
Unrealized
Realizations in generations
100 year heartbeats
Just a stage built each day of resistance
Strip celled, sensory deprived
Shock and Awed
Awaiting
The inevitable of existence
The age old table turning of contradiction
My God
We the people
OUR JESUS
Big prisons, big money, hidden racism
National oppression secreted away Abu Grahib style
Takes thirty years of reaganomics and drug war
To complete bourgeois smashing of middle class
Look into the evil eyes of every presidents final years
Podium lying with banker hands assed tightly manipulating
See the faces of returning soldiers
Stealing freedoms they were sworn to protect
Realizations
Rich protecting their existences
From realizations
Poor, oppressed realizations
At the towers of TV and radio stations
Posted up in prison towers
Crosshairs on the mind
Like the solitary cells set up to digest
Slowly, the minds and bodies of the most progressive
Those with nothing to lose but their chains
We will win again and again
Power to the people destined
Death to the puppeteers behind the silk curtain
Hungry and cold the strip celled await breakfast
Unbroken, refusing pharmaceutical poisons
Another day for the fact it weakens resolve
As all around captives snore doped to the gills
More punishment because of refusal
Acknowledgment of tiny resistance
With basic needs withheld
For years
Like he who completes inhuman task
With broken back and collapses
On the stage before witnesses
For the simple second of eye contact
As heart stops with a single audience member
Like, remember
When you tuck in your little ones
What you've done
With your 30.30 caliber firing squads
Sensory deprivation then painful lethal injections
Blink
A heartbeat
They can only hide us for so long
Force medicate and sleep deprive so long
Before those who cage have family caged
Before those who control have loved ones suffering under control
Before you pledge allegiance to your trash flag
Bloodied with the innocent buried in cement
Tarnished with the deformed babies born because U.$. munitions
Believe your God is a better God
But refuse consideration of no God
Because fear for your afterlife
Overrides your love of the present
Like Amerikka thinks they have the right
Because they're rich and Christian
To destroy the poor nonchristian
Pig religiosity, swine patriotism
Pink prison administrations and parole boards
Overseeing the brown skinned
Owing years and checks
Federal government withholding and holding
Down those able to rise up
My death will be like nothing
The life built forgot
Spit on even by those i loved
Its the way they want it
No foundation, no dedication
Nothing allowed to chapter one in to The End
Perpetuation
Of the enemy being your best friend
The priest being everything
And your own father and brother worthy of cop calling
Because property and property damage
In capitalist society overshadows family
White skin undershadows the prison system
Underlining skin tint warred upon and caged
To please your Jesus
Your fake Jesus
Heartbeatless, podiumed presidents
Cold as the strip celled
Fingers gripping microphones and flexi pens
The alive verses the dead
Muhammad verses Christian
Black verses white
Rich verses Poor
Day and Night, Life and Death
Contradictions like seconds
Hour hand continually overturns
We think in rising and falling empires
You, with your eternal afterlife crutches
Sitting in comfort
Unaware that the present uncomfortable
Hold the keys to Emerald city
Peoples future verses presents false pasts
The inevitable verses the rich, frightened hands
Clutching
Impossible, untenable historically disproven plans
Blink
A heartbeat
Unrealized
Realizations in generations
100 year heartbeats
Just a stage built each day of resistance
Strip celled, sensory deprived
Shock and Awed
Awaiting
The inevitable of existence
The age old table turning of contradiction
My God
We the people
OUR JESUS
Thursday, 22 January 2015
* Swine Flu *
That you care
That you can
Ability in ability
To do the hardest
Beat down continually in proving grounds of bullshit
That they know
That they see
This completeness
That's complete facade
Doing all this for no apparent reason but because
This is it
The posturing of advanced apes
Thinking they are godly or devily
Smelling our way through the spectrums
Can't pallbear the corporate establishment
When you must pay them to bury them
Can't smash the modern koncentration kamps
When the solitary buried and state murdered
Are applauded like the false wars
Fake borders and imagined supremacies
Amerikka the great snake
Slithering along mountainous spines
In the atmosphere with failing infrastructure
Doomed mother fucker
Shed your existence like the skin
Egyptian, Roman, Greecian empire repeat
Where the societal ump turns imp
Limp in the lap of luxurious breading
Caked in greed whitened like the raw bone handcuffed away
In Guantanamo
The sick stomachs trailwayed
With forcefeedings
Of Dorito paste
And Pepsi
Blood coughed into blue eyes
Wiped away with moisturized fingers
That tremble at the inconsistencies in the propaganda machine
Trailing out pig ear
Drip. Drip...
That you care
That you can
Ability in ability
To do the hardest
Beat down continually in proving grounds of bullshit
That they know
That they see
This completeness
That's complete facade
Doing all this for no apparent reason but because
This is it
The posturing of advanced apes
Thinking they are godly or devily
Smelling our way through the spectrums
Can't pallbear the corporate establishment
When you must pay them to bury them
Can't smash the modern koncentration kamps
When the solitary buried and state murdered
Are applauded like the false wars
Fake borders and imagined supremacies
Amerikka the great snake
Slithering along mountainous spines
In the atmosphere with failing infrastructure
Doomed mother fucker
Shed your existence like the skin
Egyptian, Roman, Greecian empire repeat
Where the societal ump turns imp
Limp in the lap of luxurious breading
Caked in greed whitened like the raw bone handcuffed away
In Guantanamo
The sick stomachs trailwayed
With forcefeedings
Of Dorito paste
And Pepsi
Blood coughed into blue eyes
Wiped away with moisturized fingers
That tremble at the inconsistencies in the propaganda machine
Trailing out pig ear
Drip. Drip...
* Our Daily Bread *
Listenin to the crunch crunch of tires on gravel
Hearing pigs rooting at the confines of their gates
Sittin in the seat of an 85 Chevy silverado
Pajamad, thoroughly rested and awaiting
Another day on the time clock earning an existence
She sleeps bundled up in blankets eskimolike
Left her shivering and sore like the rest
Father delusional suffering seizures
Seated in chairs not sat for decades
Cousin a thief stealing gasoline from grampa
Brother an addict stealing comfort from cease of sickness
Stomped my brothers face into unconsciousness
After 800 dollar Vizio flatscreen smashed by his hand
Broken noses and knuckles
Father twitching with seizures on the couch
Girls screaming, vodka spilling, voices raised
Sun begins to rise, beckoning bales of hay for cattle
Old trucks fired for daily chores
Medications choked down wrinkled throats
Days coughed up onto our tired chests
Like phlegm from the cheapest tobacco
Shits from the cheapest alcohol
We spin on this rock awaiting easement
Encased in our situations troubles
When all along unknowing of our meaninglessness
Specks on the back of Afrikaan elephants
Ticks in the side of time
Sucking fucking and shitting cursing
Being alive
Listenin to the crunch crunch of tires on gravel
Hearing pigs rooting at the confines of their gates
Sittin in the seat of an 85 Chevy silverado
Pajamad, thoroughly rested and awaiting
Another day on the time clock earning an existence
She sleeps bundled up in blankets eskimolike
Left her shivering and sore like the rest
Father delusional suffering seizures
Seated in chairs not sat for decades
Cousin a thief stealing gasoline from grampa
Brother an addict stealing comfort from cease of sickness
Stomped my brothers face into unconsciousness
After 800 dollar Vizio flatscreen smashed by his hand
Broken noses and knuckles
Father twitching with seizures on the couch
Girls screaming, vodka spilling, voices raised
Sun begins to rise, beckoning bales of hay for cattle
Old trucks fired for daily chores
Medications choked down wrinkled throats
Days coughed up onto our tired chests
Like phlegm from the cheapest tobacco
Shits from the cheapest alcohol
We spin on this rock awaiting easement
Encased in our situations troubles
When all along unknowing of our meaninglessness
Specks on the back of Afrikaan elephants
Ticks in the side of time
Sucking fucking and shitting cursing
Being alive
Friday, 16 January 2015
*All along* 01/16/2015
Spent all night beside the unsound
Spend all day surrounded
Grippin tightly to reality slipping
Like I've been carved from stone and meant to swim
So, consume alcohol bent over your addiction
Pounded mentally with anxiety
So much. Too much. Too long
At this fuckin nuthouse experience
Takin care as all of me is taken away
Can't stand the eyes of others
The bodies close and emanating agitation
Wiping themselves against my calm
Too long. Too long...
Spent all night beside the unsound
Spend all day surrounded
Grippin tightly to reality slipping
Like I've been carved from stone and meant to swim
So, consume alcohol bent over your addiction
Pounded mentally with anxiety
So much. Too much. Too long
At this fuckin nuthouse experience
Takin care as all of me is taken away
Can't stand the eyes of others
The bodies close and emanating agitation
Wiping themselves against my calm
Too long. Too long...
Friday, 9 January 2015
*paltry piece* r.i.p. 01/09/15
Sit desked or tabled
Cowed looks on mindwashed face
Chewin Genetically modified cuds
Sparklin teeth capped with blood silver
Been so long at the rat race
Squeek upon Wakin from dream maze
Life scape consists of swollen red vaginas
Cut bleedin hands holdin various women
Healin wounds wrapped around tattooed bicep
Back twitch sign of degeneration knee twitch tell tale of tired road
Walked too long with worlds backed
Slippin on the secretions joy tears produce
Witness true terrorist first worlders terrorized
Visages of prophets cartooned
Caskets cocooning the bodies
Buried in the same wood that penciled
Death assurance so blatant in violation
Like white spit on Jesus crossed
Fuckin mother Mary when daughters at work
All you got equaling exactly nothing
Exceptions in the debt accrued
The beneficiaries behind being acclimated
Like a bullet in the gut embraced
Blood cushion and bone pillow
Her high school head a second choice
For the bullet her sixteen year old hand released
Because premature emotions overwhelmed stomach ...
Sit desked or tabled
Cowed looks on mindwashed face
Chewin Genetically modified cuds
Sparklin teeth capped with blood silver
Been so long at the rat race
Squeek upon Wakin from dream maze
Life scape consists of swollen red vaginas
Cut bleedin hands holdin various women
Healin wounds wrapped around tattooed bicep
Back twitch sign of degeneration knee twitch tell tale of tired road
Walked too long with worlds backed
Slippin on the secretions joy tears produce
Witness true terrorist first worlders terrorized
Visages of prophets cartooned
Caskets cocooning the bodies
Buried in the same wood that penciled
Death assurance so blatant in violation
Like white spit on Jesus crossed
Fuckin mother Mary when daughters at work
All you got equaling exactly nothing
Exceptions in the debt accrued
The beneficiaries behind being acclimated
Like a bullet in the gut embraced
Blood cushion and bone pillow
Her high school head a second choice
For the bullet her sixteen year old hand released
Because premature emotions overwhelmed stomach ...
Sunday, 4 January 2015
* we forget * 01/04/2015
On the cusp of a breakdown
Because my hand that's fed bitten
My love returned to me destructive
Turned on by everyone I've built up
Its called, in essence, beginning of the end
Because those arounds hidden emotions
Of hurt hidden in their Busch beers
Weed, pills and methamphetamine
Transferred onto me like an acid
Sick. Like a dead mans last gasps
But up. Moving. Doin Everyones work
Buried in your spit that i created
Through feeding and heating you
This the classic ending of the magnificent
One track minded between work and bills
Parlay momentarily with modern love lust
Let down and lettin down like bank accounts
Spent i sit with erratic heartbeat
Curious how much time i have left
Death. Not such a bad thing to the dead
Eyes placed to witness greatest and worst
From pinnacles of galaxies to coal pits
We witness moments yet forget...
On the cusp of a breakdown
Because my hand that's fed bitten
My love returned to me destructive
Turned on by everyone I've built up
Its called, in essence, beginning of the end
Because those arounds hidden emotions
Of hurt hidden in their Busch beers
Weed, pills and methamphetamine
Transferred onto me like an acid
Sick. Like a dead mans last gasps
But up. Moving. Doin Everyones work
Buried in your spit that i created
Through feeding and heating you
This the classic ending of the magnificent
One track minded between work and bills
Parlay momentarily with modern love lust
Let down and lettin down like bank accounts
Spent i sit with erratic heartbeat
Curious how much time i have left
Death. Not such a bad thing to the dead
Eyes placed to witness greatest and worst
From pinnacles of galaxies to coal pits
We witness moments yet forget...
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